Cryptically done

I think that even if we follow a systematic approach , even if science and arts are involved we are witnessing this world with blind eyes. Maybe we do not know that we are blind or we are ignoring the fact that we are. Its how it works so none the less we can do nothing about that. We are spinning around till we get nauseated , when we are fine , we spin again. We have no clue on what we are doing, but we do it anyway because there is nothing else we could do. We know nothing but simply live because no one taught how to live, really. They taught us how to win a Battle but the thing is, there are no real victors. This world is kind of frustrating. I dont know if i'm alone in this or every one else is with me. What i do know is that when I sit around thinking all day, its not only my life that is in rot but everyone else's as well. or maybe this is just a thought I thought alone so its insignificant. I could conclude that my life is a mess, but I also think that i'm suspended in a bubble, unaware of how the world really works and i fear that it will electrocute or habituate me once it bursts. I really, really yearn to live on the edge but its really really hard for me to put myself out there. This is all so frustrating, its killing me ! Millions of unrequited thoughts keep popping out but they all fail to make a sound in my mouth and by extension my actions remain static. I'm static I say I'll be on the grid but I end up aiming for the middle. All i'm saying is that if a shrinking violet has thoughts like this , another creature has to. 

Confessions of a fangirl

Have you tried screaming out your lungs till your pharynx hurt? Have you stalked anyone and not realize that it's cut for stalking till someone tells you? Have you ever felt this unexplained teeming bliss when they notice your traces that you obviously planted ? 

The thing is...............................

YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS. 

It's quite a common disorder that mainly affects girls aged 13-19. The manifestations include : hallucination, delusions, day dreaming, nocturnal emissions (wet dreams), fixation and uncontrolled crazy shit behavior. The exact origin is not yet clearly established however some theories state that it is highly linked to exploding ovaries and red bottoms.  The management would be a flesh to flesh encounter with your object of fangirling. Some require numerous snapshots, videos, (very) tight hugs and stolen kisses ( and more if possible). However, the said management may not be effective to every fan girl. An eclectic approach is highly recommended due to diverse causative agents ( fangirling object ) who have distinct level of hormones and hotness. Encounters even have the tendency to worsen the condition for it can lead to certain psychosis like schizophrenia and what not. 

Another thing is...........

IT'S NOT REALLY ALL THAT BAD

Sure you probably made an ass of yourself but hey, you can't argue with hormones. It's nature's way of telling you that, although life has abandoned you. Reasons still remain to keep you standing still. So fangirls let us spazz until we ran out of spazz worthy entities.  

Take a bow: i'm watching you

TAKE A BOW              by FranKo

You spend a lot of time
convincing people that you're happy inside,
But I see through
Yeah, I see through the lies
You're wearing your disguise
And everyone's just doing what you do

Picture perfect faces,
Convincingly done,
They're out to catch a yellow bellied, red blooded, lady with a shotgun,
Point it at your followers and run
Well you got it all wrong!

Take a bow
They're watching you
Why and how
I'll never know
You

Strike a pose and make it pretty,
slide the note under the door
Just sit back, enjoy the view
He'll drag you to the ground
When nobody's around
And take a sign to turn you black and blue

Picture perfect faces,
Convincingly done,
They're out to catch a yellow bellied, red blooded, lady with a shotgun,
Point it at your followers and runWell you got it all wrong! 

I was born without a voice and I've been living in deafening silence since. But that degree of silence is my background track, it's my habitat , it is what i exist for. So I opted for what my sight  readily suggests and what are whispered in my ears. I learned to watch and listen.

This week our PI teacher gave us an activity, he handed each of us a paper. The front has a drawing and at the back a number is written. He instructed us to draw the front in a 1/4 oslo paper. These papers were puzzle pieces. When he completed the puzzle, it showed an image of Jose Rizal. The puzzle looked funny. We used different coloring mediums, different strokes, different shades. But if you take a few( or maybe a lot) of steps back, it shows it’s beauty. He explained that the differences of the puzzle pieces reflects our individuality. We have distinct point of views and we look at things from different angles. We may have the same eye structures and look at the same things but we, ourselves apply the difference. Who can see the real image? After each lecture, he delivers some kind of a pep talk. The topics are mostly random. He encourages us to write, to be skeptical and even to bend the rules. But this time, he talked about the cliché “ Being You””. He said that each of us are good persons, not better not best, we need not to compare ourselves. In comparing ourselves against other people, we gradually destroy our unique selves. 
Our humanities professor isn’t as talkative as Mr. PI. He’s the kind that you may listen too and say “” He’s so gorgeous it hurts”” ( Emily from LOL) and then you chose not to because he’s getting too factual, too boring. Wait, I’m exaggerating , he’s not that boring and he’s not that gorgeous either, but he can turn heads ( we needn’t to turn because there’s plenty of him to see up front). There are moments, when he clears the vagueness of reality and his words are literally being engraved in my memory. That day, he talked about racial discrimination in conjunction with our report on Tribal Scars , an African Literature. I thought we were created equal. That no matter what blood flows in your veins, no matter what shade of color your eyes are, even if you’re a blinding blonde, a redhead , a brunette or black haired, no matter if your skin is faded and pale , brown or dark we are just plain humans , no more and definitely not less. Racial discrimination is too big of a deal to ignore. Anger suddenly combusted within me. 
Listening to speakers is one of my infinite weakness. I don’t understand how they do it, How they can talk to the crowd without undergoing diaphoresis, dysrythmias and loss of consciousness. “” Don’t hate what you don’t understand " they say, I don’t. That’s just for math, something I hate because of lack of understanding ( it’s my biggest MATHMARE””. )
When my mind drifts, a speaker is born. But she’s afraid. She cant come out, her feet is tangled by vines. A massive hand is pressing against her mouth suffocating her. Then she gives up. She remains hidden. She watches and listens. So take a bow she’s watching you. 

Flowers on the Wall

Do you suppress yourself during social events?, limiting your actions so you could avoid getting noticed even if it means you are going to be on the death end of the rope? Do you look at your shoes whenever you have to pass by someone who you have no idea how to interact with? Do you look away like a stalker when you accidentally made eye contact with a stranger? Do you obey the rules so you could remain in the sidelines? Are you always seated in the back row or at the sides? Do you answer a question a little too long because you are thinking how to react rather than just spitting out what you have in your mind? 

Welcome to the club!!! You are a Wall Flower.
Well the term flower kinda depicts something that possesses untouched beauty. The untouched reflects me but the beauty is a definite no-no. Who said anything about beauty being  a physical superficial thing anyway? But these days it kind of revolve around that aspect. I too, am a wallflower, wait scratch that. I am not a wall flower but I am something on the wall. I am a wall________. What inspired me to write about this post? It’s the night of August 31, 2012. The so-called SOCIA with the theme ELITE REVOLUTION. 

W.H.O says that health is not just about the absence of diseases but it is the complete physical, mental, psychological, social and spiritual well being. It’s already my 3rd time to witness the so-called college socialization, the speaker says it’s a to do for our social aspect. Third time’s the charm, they say, but such quotes keeps failing me because I am pretty much the exact same person that who I was when I stepped foot into that hall as the person who is typing at the moment. I read the CAndY magazine issue for August which I borrowed from a classmate of mine ( who is a definite wall FLOWER, emphasis on the FLOWER). They featured the happiness campaign which has a column on “ Cheerful Crushing”. How about that? Wall flowers are prone to crushing, it makes you giddy at first but it is nothing but a disguise to mask that you have to back off at the end, I guess there’s no fairytale made for such creatures. Except if you pull out the courage in the climax which looks easy enough to watch but hard enough to actually perform in life.

Yamato Nadeshiko : The wallflower is a Japanese anime that is a must watch to all anime fanatics. Nakahara Sunako is one of the coolest girl I’ve ever watched and the best part it, she doesn’t know it. She redefines eccentric. She collects horror DVDs, she lives in an immensely dark room where she keeps cadavers, skeletons and mannequins which she refer to as her friends and she have names for them all. She lives in a house with four heartthrobs and two of them have the hots for her. She calls them dazzling creatures and she tries to avoid having to interact with them because whenever she sees them her nose bleeds like a fountain ( for real  ! ). 
The Perks of being a wall flower by Stephen Chbosky : is a novel about Charlie who is the friend of the guy who committed suicide. I haven't fully read the book, i'm still waiting for the hard copy to come although i have read half of it in PDFs. What intrigued me into this is the title. Are there really perks of being one of the so called wallflowers? i think there's a line where charlie says " We are infinite". I really have to grab that copy, i hate it when i forget the main lines of a book or a movie. Infinite, dictionarywise means beyond measure. Charlie is in his teen years like me, what is in this age bracket that it deserves highlighting? is it because it's the stage of confusion, the "knowing yourself" crap? Maybe i'm standing in the same brink of confusion, maybe i belong in that crap. Don't blame me, I'm a teenager.