SHINee

Korean dramas and K-movies have always been my weakness. I just can’t seem to find a counter-curse to the spell they cast in me. But K Pop? A big "Aniyo", I just find it too gay, too flamboyant, too histrionic. 

As you know, I love to eat words. Most especially mine. It’s my favorite dish. My Achilles heel. The chink in my armor.  

 Words make me vulnerable. 

Give it up for SHINee :

Leader ONEW

 Bling bling Jonghyun

 The Almighty KEY

 Flaming Charisma MINHO

 Maknae Taemin

My bias is Minho, i just can't get over his manliness. Key and Taemin are my second. Onew' s voice for me is the best. I don't like Jonghyun that much ( but I admire his powerful voice and i like JongKey). I'm a SHAWOL.

Something to read :

The Taste of an Iris

Something to watch:

Hello baby : SHINee appa

Co - shawol :
KOreana 
   
Hello Parody 

Must watch Replay Parody (LMAO)

K Pop Problem  

Never underestimate KPOPers 
This short vacation revolved around fangirling. Korean girls ship the members to each other. I found it odd. But i think shipping a bias to another bias is better than having your bias date a non-member. It's called Korean skin-ship after all, a fan service ( disturbing at first but I'm a 2 min shipper). Or maybe its just another word for bromance. 
I can't believe that i'm shipping 2 Min, they're making me a pervert. I want to make a fanfic about 2 min and OnHo!

 

Jonghyun and Taemin fanservice.. 
(Taeminnie turned into a Taeman)
What do you think of Korean Skinship? Is Fanservice going too far? (Don't do that again taemin! Minho Oppa is watching :( .....)

 

Taemin .......is slowly becoming my bias (sorry Minho, i think I got it bad for this maknae who is becoming a TaeMAN. )

Photos and gifs not owned. 
Credits to the owners.

The Host

I’m not really a twi-hard but I did watch every movie. I used to  be on Team Jacob ( I’m team Taylor NOW!!!!) , I guess things like these are bound to happen back when you’re in high school, none the less, I try to convince myself that I’m Completely pass   that. 

I had a hard time convincing myself to purchase a copy of the host because it involved ALIENS. I’m not really into that genre. Also, I was afraid that it would be similar to Bella’s story that centered in romance. I watched the trailer and I was completely blown! One of my weak points is  that I let the actors influence me in terms of novel-turned-movie books. I fancy Saoirse Ronan.  

I bought the book on march 1 and finished it on the 4th (829 pages). No matter how busy I am, I  always find time for my obsession. It’s innate I guess, I’m always fixated on what’s gonna happen on the next chapters. Anxiety develops and we all know that the instant solution for this is to give in to that compulsion. 

Melanie Stryder was one of the few humans left on earth when SOULS invaded. She’d rather be dead than let SOULS take over her body. The exact reason why she remained intact inside her body even when the WandeRER already occupied it. So it was like two persons inside one host. But that was not the end of it, as Melanie recalls her past life with JARED,  the WANDERER developed a humane love for him too.   It’s one of the most extraordinary love affair I’ve ever witnessed. Stephenie Meyer also brought a new perspective on what being a human truly means. It’s more than just being born as one but feeling like one even when you’re not. Ceasing and being born as one. Being human somehow falls in double effect. Is being called human negative or positive? Its complicated, not black and white this time. 

I was a little disappointed with the lack of mind blowing action scenes.  I was expecting cruelty if not from the souls, from the humans. I mean this is alienation! There should be unbearable death, suffering , hopelessness and pity. Scenes like this were kept at a minimal.

  

“Why did life and love go on?, what was the point?"

 

Filipinos are clean people, they wash their bread with water.

Today we had our first duty in a mental institution in Cabugao Ilocos Sur. The moment i heard about this news, the images from wrong turn IV flashed in my head. I was damn scared.  The meeting time was jeopardized because of the fact that Filipinos have their own time.  The CI kind of criticized me AGAIN ( I'm getting the feeling that she doesnt like me that much , oh well the feeling is fucking mutual. Yes I said that word again, so beat it). The experience was fine but not that remarkable. A line is now drawn between the terms defense mechanism and coping mechanism.  I don't normally write detailed posts about my learning experiences because let's face it , studying can get flat.  But it seems fitting to write this because it's a leap none the less. Sometimes we have to fake it to make it (Carrie Diaries) . I had to fake being interested in my patient's life so I could put something in that NPI requirement. I know, i know!!  it's terrible, I'm terrible. It's my job to explore things, to make people who can't verbalize feelings be able to but most of the time I just don't care. I'm trying to care for others but one thing i'm sure about myself is that i'm an island, not a continent. 

Confessions of a fangirl

Have you tried screaming out your lungs till your pharynx hurt? Have you stalked anyone and not realize that it's cut for stalking till someone tells you? Have you ever felt this unexplained teeming bliss when they notice your traces that you obviously planted ? 

The thing is...............................

YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS. 

It's quite a common disorder that mainly affects girls aged 13-19. The manifestations include : hallucination, delusions, day dreaming, nocturnal emissions (wet dreams), fixation and uncontrolled crazy shit behavior. The exact origin is not yet clearly established however some theories state that it is highly linked to exploding ovaries and red bottoms.  The management would be a flesh to flesh encounter with your object of fangirling. Some require numerous snapshots, videos, (very) tight hugs and stolen kisses ( and more if possible). However, the said management may not be effective to every fan girl. An eclectic approach is highly recommended due to diverse causative agents ( fangirling object ) who have distinct level of hormones and hotness. Encounters even have the tendency to worsen the condition for it can lead to certain psychosis like schizophrenia and what not. 

Another thing is...........

IT'S NOT REALLY ALL THAT BAD

Sure you probably made an ass of yourself but hey, you can't argue with hormones. It's nature's way of telling you that, although life has abandoned you. Reasons still remain to keep you standing still. So fangirls let us spazz until we ran out of spazz worthy entities.  

HUsh Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick

Last week I posted four books that I’m assigning myself to indulged into during the sem break. I’m done with fracture, diary of a crush and I just finished hush hush last night. I wasn’t so impressed with the first two  but hey third time really is the charm . Hush hush  redefines YA love. 

Nora’s mundane life ended when her new biology partner crashed beside her. Patch.  His eyes sparked trouble, his smile meant danger and his body called for desire. Everything about him is a silhouetted menace. She tried to stay away but gravity pulled her, before she knew it she was falling. But Patch fell first. From heaven. 

I read this not knowing that it belongs to a series. Reading one book requires completion of the collection and I’m itching for the next books already. I read Hush hush on screen and I’m not planning to continue reading them that way, I have to flip pages, smell it’s addicting scent and be able to lock it into my embrace.  I found this accidentally while watching random book trailers. I saw Nora and Patch as the top fiction couple and I thought I might as well give it a try. I remember a mate of mine recommending Fallen by Lauren Kate, maybe the reason why I hadn’t taken that book was because Becca Fitzpatrick is the voice I was meant to hear ( I have nothing against Fallen FYI). 

Looking for in HUsh hush , Crescendo , Silence , finale pdf ? 

email me. 

There is a difference

I hate half of the people I know.  There are two ways to look at life, and I always find myself looking at it half empty. It would be so anti-social of me to say I don’t really fancy human company then again that’s the way it is. But hey! I’m just selectively social.  There’s a difference.  She said it like she knows me , maybe because we went through high school together but I have always reduced her into a stereotype, general not remarkable enough to individualize. She knows nothing about how I live my life and hers is entirely irrelevant. But because she’s a huge blabber mouth. Her words and stories penetrate my universe and I am forced to hear how pathetic she is. An attention whore who always have a ready smile across her face as if tomorrow may never come. I don’t hate her because she’s always happy, individual differences, I totally get it.   I hate her because she keeps including me, and I don’t want in. I wish I could slap those words to her face, fighting has always  been the show I never tried to visit. But I’ll let myself star in one if I’ll loose my temper. She needs to be hurt with words, and if it doesn’t hurt her. It will kill her. Words kill me at times, like they’re my Achilles heel.  But they often rebirth me and right now they still keep me breathing.   It is  both  poison and  antidote. 

entertainment only.

The 1st semester is rolling the credits and i am left with time to waste. What would I use all those time for? Sleeping. Forever, if possible. I used to say, sleeping it off is a complete waste, you can get enough of that  once you're 12 feet beneath the ground, but now, I'm literally swallowing my words. 

I pledged read the books:

Fracture by Megan Miranda Catching Jordan by Miranda Keneally

 HUsh hush by Becca Fitzpatrick Diary of a crush by Sara Manning

 

 But I've never read one of them. I did spend my time in front of the monitor. Watching:

La Belle Personne

 

It's  French, I got interested in French films after watching LOL. It's a story about satiated desires. How it consumes you till you realize it's a sin. How you try to get back on track and fail. Juni,  transferred due to the death of her mother. All eyes were on hers. She possessed fragile beauty that somehow needed to be sheltered. But they didn't know what she needed, she didn't know it herself. And when she finally figured it out, death payed a visit and she had to ran away again.

 Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

  

How would you convince people of an unreal story? Back it up with some history. I didnt care who Abe was, where he stands in the civil war, how he died, why he ran or how he got where he was in the first place. After all, he was not our president so why bother reading about him? But that is what i did after watching this: scanned his bio. 

Privileged ( series)

Megan Smith is a writer who found her self tutoring filthy rich kids just before she dyed her hair red. This wasn't part of the plan, she was supposed to get herself a column of her own and write about people who matters. Instead she took a private plane, stayed in a huge mansion, re-united with her best friend, became a neighbor of a hot billionaire and be continuously pestered by evil Baker twins while convincing them to flip the pages of the "Great Gatsby".

Dirty Little Secret

Dirty Little secret By all-American rejects

.Some are mine, some are not.

It's for me to know.
And
Yours to figure out.
So what's your SEcret?

 

Take a bow: i'm watching you

TAKE A BOW              by FranKo

You spend a lot of time
convincing people that you're happy inside,
But I see through
Yeah, I see through the lies
You're wearing your disguise
And everyone's just doing what you do

Picture perfect faces,
Convincingly done,
They're out to catch a yellow bellied, red blooded, lady with a shotgun,
Point it at your followers and run
Well you got it all wrong!

Take a bow
They're watching you
Why and how
I'll never know
You

Strike a pose and make it pretty,
slide the note under the door
Just sit back, enjoy the view
He'll drag you to the ground
When nobody's around
And take a sign to turn you black and blue

Picture perfect faces,
Convincingly done,
They're out to catch a yellow bellied, red blooded, lady with a shotgun,
Point it at your followers and runWell you got it all wrong! 

I was born without a voice and I've been living in deafening silence since. But that degree of silence is my background track, it's my habitat , it is what i exist for. So I opted for what my sight  readily suggests and what are whispered in my ears. I learned to watch and listen.

This week our PI teacher gave us an activity, he handed each of us a paper. The front has a drawing and at the back a number is written. He instructed us to draw the front in a 1/4 oslo paper. These papers were puzzle pieces. When he completed the puzzle, it showed an image of Jose Rizal. The puzzle looked funny. We used different coloring mediums, different strokes, different shades. But if you take a few( or maybe a lot) of steps back, it shows it’s beauty. He explained that the differences of the puzzle pieces reflects our individuality. We have distinct point of views and we look at things from different angles. We may have the same eye structures and look at the same things but we, ourselves apply the difference. Who can see the real image? After each lecture, he delivers some kind of a pep talk. The topics are mostly random. He encourages us to write, to be skeptical and even to bend the rules. But this time, he talked about the cliché “ Being You””. He said that each of us are good persons, not better not best, we need not to compare ourselves. In comparing ourselves against other people, we gradually destroy our unique selves. 
Our humanities professor isn’t as talkative as Mr. PI. He’s the kind that you may listen too and say “” He’s so gorgeous it hurts”” ( Emily from LOL) and then you chose not to because he’s getting too factual, too boring. Wait, I’m exaggerating , he’s not that boring and he’s not that gorgeous either, but he can turn heads ( we needn’t to turn because there’s plenty of him to see up front). There are moments, when he clears the vagueness of reality and his words are literally being engraved in my memory. That day, he talked about racial discrimination in conjunction with our report on Tribal Scars , an African Literature. I thought we were created equal. That no matter what blood flows in your veins, no matter what shade of color your eyes are, even if you’re a blinding blonde, a redhead , a brunette or black haired, no matter if your skin is faded and pale , brown or dark we are just plain humans , no more and definitely not less. Racial discrimination is too big of a deal to ignore. Anger suddenly combusted within me. 
Listening to speakers is one of my infinite weakness. I don’t understand how they do it, How they can talk to the crowd without undergoing diaphoresis, dysrythmias and loss of consciousness. “” Don’t hate what you don’t understand " they say, I don’t. That’s just for math, something I hate because of lack of understanding ( it’s my biggest MATHMARE””. )
When my mind drifts, a speaker is born. But she’s afraid. She cant come out, her feet is tangled by vines. A massive hand is pressing against her mouth suffocating her. Then she gives up. She remains hidden. She watches and listens. So take a bow she’s watching you. 

reel real

My fascination in movies is dated back when my cousins included me in their infinite movie marathons. There has always been an inclination, there has always been an attachment. These cousins grew out of it, they started to  focus on their own lives and I was not yet ready for that. I was left alone, sitting in that couch , watching for dear life to pass by without even my passive participation. I’m still that girl. I haven’t changed. I haven’t made the move to change. I ignored the call of life. I focused on their life. The life in films. Why do I take them so seriously? Why cant I treat them like  a side line thing? A year ago, I whispered the answer to a mate of mine, while walking side by side I told her that it made me experience things that I am unable to feel in real life. They bring me foreign feelings, something addictive that it had to be taken in large doses to satisfy the urge. The chance of experiencing them out of the reels is so distant almost hopeless. She smiled silently and that was it. As the darkness swallowed me one night, I thought about how simple sometimes complicated life was for the characters. Every moment had climax, had color, every scene is revolving. Every conversation becomes a catalyst for another explosive twist. Every word deserves to be heard. The details are wonderfully sewn together and the pattern is never the same as the other. And I want that. I envy that. My own green monster has nauseating smell, it drives me crazy. It drives me to the valley of pessimism and finding my way back is always an unbeatable struggle. It’s likened to the aftershock of movies. Something has been taken away and at some point I come to admit that I might not be the same again and it always falls on the brink of loss. In “the alchemist”, it was written that you will never learn what you learn in books in life and vice versa. Maybe that is what it is like for me. I don’t learn that easily what life has been offering me and I need to see it fictionalized before it sinks to my whole persona. I need it to exist in life. I need the unreal to be real.  

FranKO

I found this band last Sunday and I’ve been tuning in since. I found them while googling about this Britt lad “’ Tommy Bastow” who is le fact the band’s lead singer. Bands tend to urge me to sing at their tunes which is not obvious since I am quite known as the suffer in silence type. Their sound are, how shall I say it , a bit too heavy for a gal like me.  But hey, I’m giving it a try, as the saying goes , don’t judge the book by it’s cover, love at first sight doesn’t really happen ( does that make any sense at all). 

I've listened to their songs:
1. Vienna
2. Night time
3. I am right
4. Have you seen this man
5. Eye of the storm
 

I wish I could play an instrument but sadly I might have been only destined to listen to songs and hear my life be “audiolized” in my ears. I cant even sing, it feels like I haven’t got any bone in my body reserved for music, well you cant have everything right. In my case, you cant have anything. Blimey oh riley, the atmosphere is getting nostalgic again. I am going to fill the upcoming bits of moments of my life with the four piece’s presence until I grow out of them which is out of way at the moment.  Why is their band called FranKo anyway? That is the question I shall keep asking until the answer floats before me or in this case be sang. During our collage socialization , this senior played the piano and that is when I realized that my fondness of people does not affect how I evaluate their capacity  which is kind of a relief, I guess I’m not so biased after all. 

                                                                                                                

                                                                                                                  

                                                                                            

Confessions of Georgia Nicolson by Louise Rennison

I have started to read this series after watching the movie version and I couldn't just stop flipping the pages. Georgia Nicolson's world is just fabbity fab fab. The book stated with her dilemmas namely her:
 1) parents
2) Libby ( her lil sister)
 3. Her big nose
 4. Her lack of boyfriend
Her circle is called the ACE gang and together they do stuff like their world is the only world. Georgia herself is plain weird.She says "laughing away on a fast camel" instead of goodbye.  It's written by a Britt author so you kinda need a dictionary while reading one and the book has a glossary at the last pages.
Georgia has three guys lurking behind her:
Robbie  The Sex God:
Masimo The Italian Stallion
Dave The Laugh
Out of the three my favorite is Dave The Laugh. She says they are just mates but come on! mates dont snog each other each time  they encounter. And he is indeed a laugh. They always have their moments which makes me giggly and i develop that GEneral HORNNNN!!!!. Yes, indeed, i am talking dirty but it's a Dave the laugh horn so please extend your understanding because i just cant stop rating this boy ( although hes is fiction). I also liked Robbie at first because he is a guitar plucking God who sings in front of her wet nunga-nungas , but he keeps on dumping her because of their age gap which is in my opinion doesn't seem to matter at these days ( in the movie he is played by Aaron Johnson who married a 43-year-old, irony anyone?) Her best pal Jas " Jazzy Spazzy" is quite entertaining because she can be slow at times but when she gets upset  she takes on a huge Hump and their phone dialogues always makes me laugh. Georgia believes that she lives in a mad house but I always thought they were an ideal family which sadly I don't have.

Im currently reading the 10th and last book : Are these my basoomas I see before me?