A different Kind of DRUNK

A different kind of drunk

Photo: found in google
: Belongs to rightful owner.

- I’ve never been drenched in alcohol for it drown my cognizance. And I’m pretty sure that I’m 18 years sober. I have to thank (  coffea arabica ) for that. I cant remember exactly when did coffee became a usual substance in my system, but I think I got it from a cousin of mine , and altogether we explore the different flavors of which our parent’s pockets can afford. I’m not a city dweller, I live in a small town which offers hardly any variety of coffee that I’m sure would certainly make me more stimulated in my day-to-day mundane existence. Coffee completes my owl hours, a perfect evening for me is a hard bound fiction, a bar of chocolate and a rich cup of coffee. It serves as my companion in test reviews, movie marathons, TV dramas or even in an afternoon when I decide to freeze and watch the world revolve without me. I can smell it in my urine and I experience withdrawal headaches when I fail to sip some in a day. 

Not quite but almost

Picture downloaded from gOOgle
Photo belongs to rightful owner. 

As she started her unending muttering of her self-perception of greatness, I have been left of no choice but to yield and emerge as the inferior one. Struggling to stay alert and interested was the challenge I had to triumph over. I was never like this before, or maybe secretly I was. But gradually, her insufferable self-importance has out balanced the years that I considered her as a companion to walk beside with in the curves of life. Envy? Not quite but almost. I have always known that I am not really the person people assumed me to be but my surfacing new attributes somehow frightens and disgusts me. 

Your Gaelic Name is Vevila Edana

Time is a good story teller

What's Your Gaelic Name?

Blogthings: We'll Tell You The Truth... Someon

Every moment of my life has been marked by pain, radiating to excruciating agony, well I’d be completely biased if I would deny that I haven’t felt any bliss. But as I see it now, there’s hardly enough less- melancholic moment to compare to those nostalgic ones.
My eyes are drowning in tears.
my vision  clouded by fear
If they  call  this as life
I’d rather not be alive
Possessing a bleeding heart
Slowly being ripped apart
With no one to mend it back… 
perhaps it’s life’s wretched fact
According to the Book “ Dorian gray”, only the pure things are worth having. But others say that forbidden things brings about pleasures. In this, the gap between good and bad is so boldly stressed that it makes pleasure almost a sin. But is it? Is it wrong to want something again and again? Like the effect of morphine in a mere human? If we don’t satisfy our pleasures and let them rule us, what is the point of having needs? Of having emotions to tell us this is what we want? What would be the point of living? Why would you exists if you keep denying what your soul clearly wants you to have. Pause. Think. Breath. Where is this coming from? Why am I so shaken in all of a sudden?  

This post has nothing to do with the song "It will rain" by Bruno Mars except that while this was being written it is the only sound that I allowed my ears to listen to.

AM.... 01/ 12/12

So why am I freaking out?
So why the hell am I freaking out? Because I bowed down so I wont get noticed . SO why am I freaking out?  because I didn’t care if he was there but he waited for me to look up so that he would smile and force a sheepish smile out of me. So why the hell am I freaking out? Because I wasn’t suppose to be giggly about it, im suppose to act like it didn’t happen because that encounter is solely negligible. So why the hell am I freaking out? Because he wasn’t suppose to know that I existed. I was suppose to live like I don’t exist like im not part of the human race but the thing is he knew. So why am I freaking out? Because I forgot that I once found him fetching. So why am I freaking out? Because Im freaking flattered and it’ s so rated 13 and im supposed to act like im 18 because im 18>>>this isn’t supposed to be happening to me, to someone whose 18 because this reaction is for 13 years olds only, whose undergoing puberty and not to some 18 year old because im supposed to be adult about it, civilized about it. Being naive should have been out of the list but it’s the only thing that’s occupying it>>>>freaking 18... 


AM 01/13/12
Friday the 13nth

The disastrous thing about expectations is finding out that you were wrong. That every stare that you assumed that were intended for you were just plain looks. That every encounter you thought destiny planned were just coincidence. That every time your heart skipped a beat were nothing but misconceptions. Every unnecessary behavior you stupidly made is just how fate wanted you to make a fool out of your damn self. With you thinking that you found have found LJ Smith’s silver cord to entwine with one other person , only to find out that nobody is at the end to hold it for you. That everything were just wasted efforts, frantic smiles, melting discomforts, that bulk in your esophagus that you cant seem to swallow, that make-believe eye that watches you, all of which are just part of a big whim. An impulse that should have been erased rather than treasured. This is when you realize that imagination brings you agony not awareness. Distress not remedy. 

Im TYpe A

Your Inner Blood Type is Type A

You seem cool and collected, though a bit shy. You are highly driven and a perfectionist, but that's a side you keep to yourself. Creative and artistic, you are a very unique person who doesn't quite fit in. People accept you more than you realize, seeing you as trustworthy and loyal. You are most compatible with: A and AB Famous Type A's: Britney Spears and Hilter

What's Your Inner Blood Type?

The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don't Talk About Blogthings

Hey!!! Happy new year\


Before 2011 bid me goodbye I had one wish granted. I became a witch or played at being one rather ( Torrance in Jinx anyone?) My fascination at witches dates back in the days of 13 yr- old Harry in the third book and I’ve been hooked under their spells ever since. 



 Things I did before mid-night struck..

I have finished watching a Korean drama heartstrings, well my usual reaction .. Completely swept off the ground, what’s cheesier than that? If unrealistically silly romance didn’t exist, I’d trade El-Oh-vi-e for a life long supply of fictions.


I uploaded another vid . I’m no expert and my humble creations are pure labor of el-oh-vi-e. 

I have added a new hunk in my hottie list : chris evans  he is the perfect combination of incredibly hot and ridiculously funny at the same time ( tnx to Mr. weiver). 

According to the Mayan predictions the world will end this year. My first thought: It's unfair, I just began to dwell in the world of adulthood and here comes the judgement day. I havent done things to leave a trace of my existence, I haven't done enough to show my affection to my loved ones and I havent experience empowering desires. 
@ world's end, images of my mom and my sisters appear in head , seeing them suffer before you while your incapable of helping them seems like a scene I could never live through. Dying has always been a concept that I apply only to myself, it seems easier to die before the others not because you surrender but because dying physically gives you lighter pain than dying emotionally. In physical death, your body is damaged and before you know your gone. In dying with your emotion and soul...... the sky crashes, water downs you, breathing air isnt sufficient , darkness swallows you alive , you are deprived of your will to exist, every single suffering presents itself to you like you have been born to die and die and die.