It's The Season to be jolly ! Falalalalalalala! So what's up with the neutralism?

As obviously stated being a loner would be an understatement. I want to laugh like a loon on loon tablets but no drug  can alter my mood. I feel neutral , I feel empty , I feel lost , I feel simple  and plain and this is just a bloody dejavu. Why am I  unlike the others? Why am I not normal? Why do I feel so different and distant?  Every waking moment is familiar but these things does not amuse me anymore. These things are inadequate. These things  are pretty upsetting. I am far from satisfaction, I’m hanging in a cliff of despair. I don’t need people to clear my clouded thoughts. I need to fog it out myself. This is a one man show. But im not sure if  I’m sane enough to continue.  I’m a lone wolf, my pack has long abandoned me or did I scare them away? I need to know that I’m not alone in this but solitude is my utopia. Am I in between? Or the edges? A single breath, word, feeling is a doubt. Did this happen before? If it did, did it end? Or is this a cycle? Is this something new? I have no idea, so , you tell me ….

TRIPPLE TREAT OR THREAT? in Room 412

It’s Tuesday, I just woke up and I’m so eager for nightfall to come so I could catch the newest episode of vampire diaries. But all that excitement got flushed down the toilet when my step-mom/aunt called that she’s confined in the hospital. I went rigid but then her demands kept rolling continuously to convince me that she is just fine. She just had diarrhea and was in need of  rest. Her request was endless., TV , her facial regimen etc. I was assigned to stay with her. I was bored so I called up my cousin to come over. When she came, I realized that the three of us are somewhat immersed if not completely in the field of nursing.The same blood flows in our veins , we descended from the same DNA and  we will probably inherit the same diseases.  My step mom wanted to take a bath so she requested my cousin to disconnect her IV line. My cousin was slow and careful. Maybe my aunt got irritated so she just pulled it out somehow. A dark shade of red flowed out of her yet she remained calm. My cousin who is a self proclaimed paranoid, went on edge. Friendly bickering started and I just watched realizing that even the eclectic approach can be applied to nurses themselves.  The thing is we are so different from each other, our family is in a complete haywire because of it. We forgive but cannot forget but we try and most often  we fail. WE do not share the same principles , we share the shame of our differences. 

12.12.12

Someday people will look back and ask "what were you doing in 12.12.12?"

my usual pattern obviously:

Went to school at 8am

Cleaned and redecorated the room at 9am

Spread words about FranKo and Tommy Bastow around 11am

Tried to write about case analysis at 11:30

Watched American Pie: Naked Mile ( laughed out loud with fellow c'mates) around  12 am

Already craving for lunch and dying of hunger at 1 pm

Headed home at 1:30 pm

Ate my lunch at last ( not very appealing, damn that slimy fish ugghhh)  at 2 pm

Watched TV around 2:30 pm

Laid down in a net swing? at 3pm

Watched Beauty and the Beast episode 1 at 4 pm

Initially wrote this at 4:30 pm

Received a phone call from my step sis (do i miss her? definitely maybe ) at 5 pm

Did my duty to my old lola at 6 pm

Made an entry to a diary required in NCM at 6:30 pm

Dinner ( my house mates are not good cooks!!!!) at 7 pm 

Wrote this again at 7:17 pm 

Coffee break ( like i needed it ) at 7:30 pm 

What i did this day are not significant, i probably need to be awarded for lameness. But i stand by Ghandi's words " What you do in life would be insignificant but it's important for you to do them because no one else will"

Let me celebrate 1006 !!!! :D