I'll Be Over Here

I don't want to end this year with a frown. I want to end it with a tumultuous bang and with a silly smile stretched ridiculously wide across my face. But it hurts, forcing a grin is pure torture, catching stars one by one to stitch them in the eyes is impossible because their brightness burn out when you thought you had them clasped safely in your palms. 

I was going to pour out positivity in this post, so much that I would be drained empty but who am I kidding? Tears, disappointment had already broken the plug that once held my scanty bliss. I hold no remorse, its just that being let down multiple times, getting up as often is becoming old and exhaustion had already gathered bone deep. My bones creak with every attempt to rise again, i am getting so familiar with the embrace of gravity. 

I am made up of silent sighs, it is all i am capable of, all i can come up with in response to every blow being thrown at me.

I wish i could go 360, that its not too late, that I still have an extra happy fiber hidden in my body so as to not turn over the 2016 calendar weakly and weary.

Oh well, I'll be over here searching for that fiber and when I do I would pummel it down into submission, for sure......or not.