Rose-Tinted.

I'm not even sure what this will be about, I guess it's one of those whimsical posts that just needs to be ventilated at a fleeting moment.

Something aimless. Which is my life in a nutshell.

I am walking in circles again, too caught up with my thoughts that I fail to see how meteoric I am really falling or failing. They say that people should count what they have and not what they do not but I find that difficult. Especially if you really know what you want this time. I just cant make that decision, its too risky, I want to take the risk but my folks would suffer, additionally I am aware of the immediate consequences. I want to redo everything, to be given a clean plate and choose wisely this time. On the otherhand, I am also glad about the decisions I made, but when I chose them, I gave them a shelf life. However, I am extending the expiry date.

I avoid to think about it as much as possible, or else I would fall into a loop of depression. Rick says that it all should be taken without meaning. Toby's mom says not to think it or else I'll go crazy. But your mind is freaking complex, giving you sentiments that only rains your day.

On a lighter note, I deleted our connection. I was triggered again and I have to cut it off if I want to survive the plague.