CAllan Ryan Claude Mcauliffe : Neurotic Aussie

This Neurotic Aussie thinks that a guy asking a girl out is sexist. He stated that a girl should ask a guy out!  That’s one thing I wont be able to practice even if hypothetically I have already won the battle against myself, so I guess Maria Clara and I really live in the same era. In the hundreds of chic flick I have already memorized, a female specie somehow surfaced, showed superiority. I want to be that person or maybe I already am since "I don’t think the person I am outside is the person I am inside" (I wish I could remember who quoted this). It all boils down to my inferiority, I loathe this gloomy word. I just feel so stupid. I'm am near my adult years yet i'm still stuck with a teenage dilemma. 

http://miawitch.blogspot.com/2011/09/callan-ryan-claude-mcauliffe-my.html

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Gulping an Iced Coffee Saga: In the flesh but Still too distant

 Yes, as seen in these  photos taken @ the same angles he did come to us. I couldn’t help but release my ridiculous smile as he moved even closer just so he could reach that freaking plug. Though it took about 30 minutes of insane co-existence in a humidified lobby, all I remembered was trying not to look too obviously spying @ this mind-boggling creature.  That’s right in my eyes he is just a 

creature, like an animal who I just happen to be too addicted with. I gave him a name, let him enter my universe , let him cause me silly smiles but no he never seemed to strike me as a human. I once described him as a Greek God in a human form but that’s all he was, human in form, I never regarded him as an equal. Nope I never have visions of only inches of separation, just distant stolen glances coupled with hidden snapshots. Maybe I want it to stay just like that because I seem to have the hobby of watching the world and never to take part. It feels weird that even though I have spent 2 semesters of accidental and intentional  gazing I still couldn’t get enough of it( Juli baker on watermelon scent). Sometimes I wonder if its this creature I couldn’t get enough of or I just find my reaction amusing. I don’t feel this reaction often, I doubt if it’ll cease as time continues it’s clockwise movement. As this creature crosses our parallel dimension, every movement he initiates seems to dissolve the boundaries which I drawn to remind me of my limits but on second thought, its just in my head and we are still not equals.












                    

MARIA CLARA wasn’t born yesterday

On August 3 2011, MMK featured a love story that very much reminded me of FLIPPED. I just found an older and modern version of JULI BAKER in the character played by DENISE LAUREL. Have you witnessed someone with that much guts just so her object of affection would eventually reciprocate her feelings? Wait, I think I know tons of girls that behave just as she does.   


1 Gennie of started w/ a kiss

 2 Charlotte from H2o

3 Nam from Crazy lil things

4 Macy in Jonas

5 Jenny in Gossip girl

6 Caroline from Vamp diaries

7 Massie from the Clique

8 Brigitte in sisterhood of traveling pants

Though some of them didn’t have a happy ending and 

annoyed the hell out of me @ times. The effort is much appreciated. Sometimes I can almost picture myself doing those crazy but bold things, but as I re-open my eyes I always find myself sitting. If ever I did those things and stupidly just followed my heart, things in my life would have been a lot  different. Maybe I would have retired from my 17 single years earlier. I would have experienced being greeted by those 3 words 8 letters before I close my eyes I would have felt that current as another hand occupy the spaces between my fingers. I would have been called cheesy or corny or sappy. I would have felt that hole Bella keeps bragging about. I would have swore never to fall again just like Mika did. I would have been with Hanna Marin as she crashed sean’s car , the thing is I was a coward. But I believe that  even when there are 6 billion souls in this lifetime, the only one I needed would appear unexpectedly as soon as destiny decides we cant stay apart any longer. Ooooppps, maybe Maria Clara wAS just born…….

PLaIN DOmInATion

PLaIN DOmInATion
SEPtember 2,2011

I have no idea where they got this Crayola theme. Never understood why they picked it in the first place.

I never had any luck on raffle tickets. I wanted that external drive so bad!!!!

..As I stare @ these petrified photos dominated by fixed smiles, I could not think of       anything else but   constant blankness. Like nothing really happened but these are reminders that there was.

A Greek God in human form, my eyes see him as that. Although I’m pretty sure he is absolutely less than the sum of his parts. He turns heads, obviously, that’s why I consider this reaction as pure external. Determining whether he’s substantial or not is already out of the question because we subsist in different dimensions, parallel in nature and never bound to congregate.

Maybe the state of bliss is like a tiny slice of caramel cake. If you have already consumed that bit amount of sweetness and indulged yourself in that fluffy icing, it just ceases. As you swallow, a pang of guilt crashes into the skull but you have to shake it off, its done. Bliss always have expiration dates. But unlike in foods, it doesn’t take years for it to become toxic , sometimes you’re battling with seconds as
swift as blinking an eye.

Years and years back, I prided myself for being honest. I never cheated on exams or stole extra bucks from my mom, I even return excess change to cashiers . But now, I am more than a liar. I could see myself as a complete fraud. How could that be? If you’re a fraud even to yourself then how could you remove that seemingly permanent  natural mask?  When did I put it on? Am I going to be to be stuck in this masquerade ball for eternity?

Wuthering Heights

I have spent the entire weekend reading WUTHERING HEIGHTS while waiting for the damned typhoon to be over, in this novel I have witnessed a true living devil under the name of HEATHCLIFF. Is he a force of evil or simply a victim of it?
Heathcliff: Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest so long as I live on! I killed you. Haunt me, then! Haunt your murderer! I know that ghosts have wandered on the Earth. Be with me always. Take any form, drive me mad, only do not leave me in this dark abyss alone where I cannot find you. I cannot live without my life! I cannot die without my soul. 
-This line made me hang in the mid air!!!! Then I thought If I had a lover like HEATHCLIFF , it would be a living hell since it is better to be hated than to be loved by him. Why did he kept on living for another 19 years after CATHERINE had perished? If this kind of LOVE takes place in this modern world today, how cruel would that crazy little thing (called love) would be, full of obsession, passion and revenge? I dare not to speak of it!!!!!
Catherine: If all else is perished and he remained, I should still continue to be, and if all else remained and he were annihilated , the universe would turn to a mighty stranger, I should not seem part of it.
- This reminded me of EDWARD CULLEN, the extent of his action due to Alice's false vision of Bella's death. Yes, I did read the twilight saga. I know that these two novels cant be compared but the message that their characters convey is the same in a way, DEATH AFTER LOVE..... Tragedy is a tragic thing but if the idea of love is mixed, it transcends to romantic. These people depicts love as if there is nothing that would come after it if the object of their affection have reunited with the earth. Is it really that way? That there is nothing that comes after but misery and the world would turn into an abandoned wretched space?   

JUST FOR ONCE

JUST FOR ONCE:
Why cant I just excel? (Always flunking)
Why cant I just be strong? ( Depression prone)
Why cant I be that girl? (AA related, he got his name, I hate her!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Don’t you think Its kind of unfair?, Maybe that’s just the story of my life, my deprived life. I always say this in my down moments and I feel guilty. Maybe I am just being selfish, surely I cant have everything.

Insubstantial Temperament

The full picture of a surface-lived life:
1.Anxiety in exposition
2.Wretched fondness
3.Excess utilization
4.Tragic derivation