Hey!!! Happy new year\


Before 2011 bid me goodbye I had one wish granted. I became a witch or played at being one rather ( Torrance in Jinx anyone?) My fascination at witches dates back in the days of 13 yr- old Harry in the third book and I’ve been hooked under their spells ever since. 



 Things I did before mid-night struck..

I have finished watching a Korean drama heartstrings, well my usual reaction .. Completely swept off the ground, what’s cheesier than that? If unrealistically silly romance didn’t exist, I’d trade El-Oh-vi-e for a life long supply of fictions.


I uploaded another vid . I’m no expert and my humble creations are pure labor of el-oh-vi-e. 

I have added a new hunk in my hottie list : chris evans  he is the perfect combination of incredibly hot and ridiculously funny at the same time ( tnx to Mr. weiver). 

According to the Mayan predictions the world will end this year. My first thought: It's unfair, I just began to dwell in the world of adulthood and here comes the judgement day. I havent done things to leave a trace of my existence, I haven't done enough to show my affection to my loved ones and I havent experience empowering desires. 
@ world's end, images of my mom and my sisters appear in head , seeing them suffer before you while your incapable of helping them seems like a scene I could never live through. Dying has always been a concept that I apply only to myself, it seems easier to die before the others not because you surrender but because dying physically gives you lighter pain than dying emotionally. In physical death, your body is damaged and before you know your gone. In dying with your emotion and soul...... the sky crashes, water downs you, breathing air isnt sufficient , darkness swallows you alive , you are deprived of your will to exist, every single suffering presents itself to you like you have been born to die and die and die. 

Re-cap

 I was born with a complicated and tangled as a sycamore tree family structure. My biological dad never shadowed in my life. My biological mom remarried so I was practically sent out for adoption . I always considered that word as dirty. And I’m pretty  much deprived of any overrated talent . As the clock continues Its clockwise ticking, my mouth always remained zipped and I masked myself with a blank face. I’m a self-proclaimed movie fanatic or should that be lunatic. I have this theory that pertains to my nonexistence. That I am just born to play a part in someone else’s life that’s why I feel kind of suspended in the realm of reality. That there is no certain plan of how my destiny is going to be played. Or is it just because I feel so lost? that the only road that I barely see is what the elders had directed me to travel. Im not compassionate, and I hate myself for it. Generally I couldn’t care less of other people’s wellness as much as I want to and have to, but I’m in the process of reconsidering because it‘s kind of mandatory. My favorite word is cliche since someone whom doesn’t know me mutually, practically slapped that to my face of which I’m glad he did when I was 17(which certainly isn’t ancient enough to be pushed behind the closet) . I have spent my teen aged years in solitary confinement both by choice and by force. I’m trapped in the world of vampires, wolves, witches , wizards, goblins and other mystical creatures that are bound to be found within a fiction book. My favorite mystic characters of course are witches and wizards. “ Earth and water protect me, air and fire bring my desire”. My dream mystic ability is to be able to fly, nothing like the wind brushing beneath my feet.  As childish as it may seem I’m a real sucker for  spaghetti and chocolates and I’m terribly petrified by snakes. I daydream a lot, probably because of the said theory earlier, by trying to picture yourself in a landscape to make the whole greater than the sum of its parts (muddy!!). My newest hero is LJ Smith, and I wish to dwell in her Night world and find that quixotic silver cord at last.  Coffee slips to my body for the first hour of every day and I kiss coffee good night before I float in the endless horizons and be completely consumed by darkness and be absorbed by the stillness of the nocturnal atmosphere. Reality bites, If I could, I’d rather stay printed In the pages of a hard-covered mind blowing fiction but I’m merely a full blooded , hundred percent muggle. Supernatural may have skipped me 

physically but it is still drifting in my veins unnoticed for now, but something scarce would be initiated eventually of that I’m certain. I just got out from the country of Panem, from the Hunger games imagined by Suzzane Collins. I felt how my whole body got licked and burned by fire through Katniss Everdeen. How my wings that stands for rebellion got smothered by the bomb Gale and Beete might have made not for me but for Snow’s people. I felt how my feet got sweep off because of Peeta’s powerful words and the brightness of his blue eyes. But I couldn’t be because I am not Katniss, the hunter, the girl from the Seams , the Mockingjay, Collins isn’t the writer of my story. I evolve into a parasite every time I indulge and take a plunge into an impossible tale. Like everything about this wretched girl is lost and all that is left is the ruins of a brain to be au fait with and a heart to stir emotions. I dissolve into the thin air but it happens so quietly that it leaves me undisturbed, so still that it’s as if I keep on listening to a story teller that breathes only to narrate to me. Im a typical suffer in silence type, though I do not entirely think that silence is equivalent to suffering. It s more like a blanket that warms you against the colds shoulders of societal discrimination and utmost cruelness.

DAY DreAm...

YOU’RE MY DAY DREAM

I COULD HAVE BEEN THE One you noticed
I could have been all over you
I could have been like all the others
It’s that what im supposed to do

This post isn’t solely about THOSE dudes that I fancy. Or on the things that I hope I had but sadly I don’t. it’s a combination of both.
I day dream a lot. Its kind of my pass time, like a forced habit
that I have to continue doing to somehow call THIS a life. They make me sleep when my insomnia decides to kick in. Or when I see an empty space that needs to be filled with anything invisible to others but bold in my light brown eyes.

I daydream about meeting my father who would offer me a more luxurious life.
I daydream about a celebrity who would find me and chooses me over his career.
I daydream about a musician who would compose a song for me because words are just not enough to verbalize his affection.
I daydream about falling in love with a half brother and we’d separate with broken hearts.
I daydream about living in a room filled with millions of book that I am tasked to read in one lifetime.
I daydream about publishing a novel that would let  the reader see the world through my writings.
I daydream about being a witch to let earth, water air and fire bring my desires.
I daydream about driving to see the New York sky line.
I daydream about directing a movie that a viewer wouldn’t get tired of watching.
I daydream about surfing waves in Manly beach ( w/o sharks pls).
I daydream about entering a different world as an adventurer or a sorcerer or an oracle.
I daydream of meeting my twin so that we could exchange life just for pure amusement.
I daydream about wearing a spooky costume to scare people.
I daydream about becoming one of those kids who seem to behave like they’re too cool for school.

The thing about daydreaming is that everything is within your control, nothing could go wrong and all works on your favor. Sometimes I even consider me-self as a lunatic when I begin to thrive in THAT World rather than this. Finding that someone else who does same thing as I do saved me from that assumption.

WHAT DO you daydream about?...

SECRET CIRCLE

The Secret Circle

Cassie Blake labeled herself as a shy daydreamer, possessing nothing to brag but her ordinary self. But all that changed as she learned that she is a part of a coven of witches in NEW SALEM and they need her to bInd their circle.

Adam Conant, whose eyes were blue-gray, like the mysterious sea. His odd face, not conventionally handsome but arresting and intriguing with high cheekbones and determined mouth. Proud and independent and humorous and sensitive all at once. (excerpt from the initiation)

When Cassie saw him for the second time, she saw a silver cord that linked their bodies. He gave her a chalcedony rose. Adam saw the cord too but neither knew that it didn’t just linked their bodies but their souls too. Isn’t that quixotic ? Knowing that you both had connections on the surface but underneath destiny has already bounded you in that lifetime .

A drop of water as light as air. Nature kept pushing them, their powers magnetizing them. But they took an oath.
"Fire, Air, Earth, Water listen and witness." "I, , swear not
to betray my trust-not to betray Diana,""Not by word, or look, or deed, waking or sleeping, by speech or by silence in this land or any other. If I do, may fire burn me, air smother me, earth
swallow me, and water cover my grave." ( excerpt INItiation).

Nick Armstrong, the cold, handsome face of the dark-haired guy. His eyes, they were dark brown, the color of a mahogany furniture. They weren't unfriendly, exactly. Just-unimpassioned. As if nothing much touched this guy. He’ s special, moody most of the time but speciaL.

Faye Chamberlain.A big, beautiful girl, both tall and voluptuous. She had a mane of pitch-black hair and her pale skin was touched with the glow of confidence and power. Her poem indicated that she is not a person to mess up with.
“I dream about fire-
Tongues of flame licking me.
My hair burns like a torch;
My body burns for you.
Touch my skin and your fingers will stick-
You'll blacken like a cinder.
But you'll die smiling;
Then you'll be part of the fire too.

DIANA

                             
                                                                                  MELISSA

After I read the secret circle, I knew I wanted to meet L.J Smith. To see with my very own light brown eyes that magnifies each time I focus, the woman who lives a mystifying life. How she is surrounded by magic and how she puts soul in every drop of ink in her writings. How she tells an enchanting tale that doesn’t require you to fully leave reality. I wanna join their coven, be the 13th witch and the 8th sister altogether. Find my stone and occupy any house in Crowhaven Road.

PHOTOS : GOOGLE

SECRET CIRCLE EXCERPTS: SECRET CIRCLE BY LJ SMITH

*Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.*

SOUL Surfer

sOUL SURFER

 I cant swim , let alone surf. But Bethany Hamilton did it with one arm. How hard could it be? Sadly the place im located in doesn’t give us the opportunity to ride waves or paddle your way to it. Soul Surfer are those who surf for pure pleasure. Well it does seem like a very fulfilling hobby but the ocean kind of scares me. She lost an arm due to shark attack, I cant risk mine unless its guaranteed the there is zero dangerous body biting sea creatures in the area. She didn’t scream when she got bitten. it’s a true story so the real BETHANY HAMILTON is proof of a bold soul who surfed her way through the waves of her life.
ANNASOPHIA ROBB

She’s of my age. For a soon to be 18-year old she has done a lot and me who is merely following a path that is not solely for myself, I haven’t had my life to the fullest.  I have been watching her movies since CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY and I find it rather amusing to see how she have grown. It’s like everybody else’s life continues to flow but I’m stuck with my butt glued to a chair. Or maybe it’s a gum. 

PHOTOS: GOOGLED IN GOOGLE.....

Ebony, Brown , Mahogany

           Ebony, Brown , Mahogany

Ebony is for Samantha Madison’s newly dyed midnight ebony hair. This week’s final exam didn’t stop me from reading this novel, when did anything stop me from reading anyway? It always comes first and I kind of blame this for my failing grades. If only I could apply Kris’ motto, ( if you want something to be a reality you have to make them your priority)in my life. My folks always say that my studies should come first. I agree, completely. But setting your priority is a difficult thing to do when you do not know what really is your top priority. My life right now is off it’s usual equilibrium. It’s a mess ( isn’t that how they call it?)




Brown is for Jolibee’s Hash Brown Burger. It remained sitting in the floor after we have digested it in our stomachs for dinner. I do not have a story behind this but it just seem fitting for this week’s post. 




Mahogany is for the color we used to paint those ancient old chairs. We weren’t painters but I think we did a good job. 

PHOTOS: BY GOOGLE

PROM

 I watched this while we were reaching our deadline for our G and D paper works .
This movie takes place in high school ( which is obviously given, hello? Prom?) The love main love team is the top-of-the-class-girl and the hot-rebel-type guy. In movies, why do they always pair up the total opposite stereotype. I don't think it really occurs in real life. Maybe it's somewhat the director's duty to dissolve the invisible line of discrimination.

Honestly, the  main reason why I chose to watch this is due to this girl. Yup, I have watched her in starstruck and she didn't really leave a mark in any part of my brain. I decided to watch this because she's in it and she's Danielle Campbell (Callan's Celeb crush). To tell everyone that she isn't that great would make me bias so i'll just end my statement with , she still hasn't left a mark. but an aunt did commented that she was pretty and i was like WHAT? (don't say that when i'm around).

So this is what I've been telling you ,the whole opposite poles attract.
Guards on with Nova and Jesse the bluff.

i like this scene! How the long term beau asked her. I havent witnessed this rate of drive so I think i'm entitled to conclude that this is nothing like real life, sorry.

How to Teach Filthy rich Girls

I have finished reading this in a single day. Thanks to pdfs. i didn't have to buy a hard copy, which usually is harder to find .
MEGAN SMITH !!!
Compared to the t.v version, the megan here is big fat liar.
I'm gonna have to skip/jump'hop to the end. How could every chic novels end like that ,with the usual surprising unexpected kind of expected ( does that makes sense) CINDY-PERFECT-GET-AWAY, the sort that i keep rereading for better imagination.. The kind that i keep in mind for ridiculous smiles. The scenes where I get jealous and hope for something like that but different to happen.









Photo: googled in google.

OcTOber is the Month I've been Freed

 --is the tenth month of the year in the Julian and Gregorian Calendars and one of seven months with a length of 31 days. The eighth month in the old Roman calendar, October retained its name (from the Latin "octo" meaning "eight").- I copy and paste Wikepedia most of the time.
OCTOBER SYMBOLS

• October's birthstone is the opal. It is said that the opal will crack if it is worn by someone who was not born in October.
• The Zodiac sign for those born in this month is either Libra or Scorpio.

When I googled October for some images, pumpkins popped in the screen. I forgot that October is all about Halloween. Sadly, I haven't participated in any Halloween-related-celebrations, though I'm pretty sure I'd be a witch in a broomstick.

I will become legit tomorrow. 18 years of Chimerical existence can you believe that? Well. I don't want to. People says its freedom but I doubt it, a Philosopher, whose name I cant recall ,once said that a man is born free, so technically I've been free my whole life but i haven't really practiced that so called abstract word (is it?) and it is by both choice and force, so I cant have anyone to blame even myself.

LIBRA HORROR SCOPE FOR THE DAY

Someone could call you at the last minute with tickets and an invitation to some kind of event you wanted to attend but could not afford. You need some time to re-create yourself, but your finances may be tight. There are creative solutions available.
- Im not really a sole believer on stuffs like this but they are good things to read, specially when the sky is pouring and as long as it's not about death and morbid.
I ended up September last night tagging photos, writing back to random people, availing pdf version of books (I  like hard copies better but it's damn FREE, how can you not click download?) , reading "HOW TO TEACH FILTHY RICH girls" , watching Will and Megan in Privileged ( i thought she'll end up with Mr Headmaster Cassidy, clearly its been years) with a mug of a classic Coffee until 11. 


How I started October the first?

Reading chapter 20 and beyond. Aside from Megan, Sage and Rose I don't have any humane characters in the house. Other living creatures I'm confined with are three dogs,bends, dobby and nameless( owned by someone else so he wasnt baptized with any name). The sky is pouring hard so I guess people within the same kilometer radius as me would be doing the same , just thinking. 
I want wrte about my positive intuitions in this stage of my life but sadly Im a self-proclaimed pessimist, blame my childhood for that. I don't see any light in my life, maybe I need to take a break from my pessimistic nature for a while.How would that work exactly? Aside from growing old, I have other matters to worry at(too shallow to mention).

Wake me up when September Ends

.....Last night of the month ......

BLOOD, NEEDLES AND OTHER PAINS

So according to this Lancet Test, I am blood type O, the universal donor. I remember the first time I asked my mom about it, she said O but I didn’t believe it because I thought she just wanted to make me feel good because at that time I was gaga for Meteor Garden’s Vic Zhou, who according to his poster, was type O. 
But on September 26, 2011 I saw the truth when none of the A and B labeled blood droplet coagulated. Being labeled as a universal donor, I think I could use thy said name. It would be anti-social to refuse when asked to donate isn’t it? Torturing yourself with a tiny needle sure needed guts. ( too bad I couldn’t act like Rhianna in love the way you lie, I was never a masochist) When I got my ear cleaned when I was about 14 years old, the doctor said that I have a high pain tolerance so I guess I made the cut of being a martyr in terms of physical pain anyway.
 How could something so thin and colorfully packaged result to pain? But maybe that is just how life goes, we tend to watch out for great things but the small things that we choose to neglect are the ones the holds us back. Every time we formulate plans for success, with every detail shined and polished often crashes because we tripped over a rock. So the lesson I learned that day, aside from my blood type, is that minor details matters.
  

solitary confinement

I don't have any blood connection to this kid. I never even knew he existed before he appeared in my eyes on a rainy Thursday. But as I began to notice his doubtful black eyes, instantly I recognized a person I presume I knew my entire life. ME. 
As seen, he was perfectly contented on doing his own thing and neglecting the presence of other souls in that room. I saw myself in him when I was just a size of a chair where my feet could hardly reach the stable ground I was destined to step into. 
I continued to spy on him while the remorse of my ill-fated childhood came rushing back to me as I began to open and dwell on a past that I personally sealed to prevent myself from entering it once again. 
The past is a lonely time or place or space to visit. 
What worries me at that time was how he would face this cruel world when he is defeated by a mere number of children he was confined with at that stage of his life. I was never a warrior but I wished I was and I wish he is. 

I’ve never spoken. I’ve never laughed. I’ve never ran. I’ve never shouted. I’ve never danced. I’ve never sang. I’ve never hugged. I’ve never kissed. I’ve never loved. I’ve never cared. I’ve never given. I’ve never trusted. I’ve never grieved. I’ve never seen. I’ve never heard. I’ve never tasted. I’ve never told. I’ve never pushed. I’ve never done. I’ve never helped. I’ve never talked. I’ve never felt. I’ve never thought. I’ve never won. I’ve never feared. I’ve never lived.   


I’ve been zipped. I’ve been fake. I’ve been slow. I’ve been hushed. I’ve been still. I’ve been shut. I’ve been stoned. I’ve been closing. I’ve been loathing.  I’ve been selfish. I’ve been stealing. I’ve been suspicious. I’ve been whimpering. I’ve been blind. I’ve been deaf. I’ve been burned. I’ve been told. I’ve been steady. I’ve been nothing. I’ve been difficult. I’ve been listening. I’ve been numb. I’ve been blank. I’ve been lost. I’ve been  empty. I’ve been dead.

Gulping an Iced Coffee Saga:
  Black Rainy Wednesday
In a gloomy atmosphere, amidst the sea of familiar faces, I was searching for a few people, then as if it had to happen, out of nowhere the face I cant seem to resist appeared towards me in his black hoodie and he passed like flash of lighting, too fast but too blinding to miss with his usual head-turning entrance and just like every encounter, I had step back to the sideline.
   
Thursday Umbrella news

As the dark sky continued to eradicate it’s wrath, we remained under the seemingly stable shed to wait for it to calm down. Just as random people marched to seek for shelter, I noticed a luggage that once in a while signals me to smile and almost expectedly the figure that carried it appeared. He didn’t seem to be part of the crowd, he seemed to just belong in his own universe. With his gaze only reserved forward and never to glance sideways, I lingered wearing my invisible soul. A few moments of both physical and soul-absence passed, a rumor weed appeared beside me and preached an information that made my consciousness erratic. The moments I was in bliss are only counted by seconds for I  grasp that nothing altered for my sake.

CAllan Ryan Claude Mcauliffe : Neurotic Aussie

This Neurotic Aussie thinks that a guy asking a girl out is sexist. He stated that a girl should ask a guy out!  That’s one thing I wont be able to practice even if hypothetically I have already won the battle against myself, so I guess Maria Clara and I really live in the same era. In the hundreds of chic flick I have already memorized, a female specie somehow surfaced, showed superiority. I want to be that person or maybe I already am since "I don’t think the person I am outside is the person I am inside" (I wish I could remember who quoted this). It all boils down to my inferiority, I loathe this gloomy word. I just feel so stupid. I'm am near my adult years yet i'm still stuck with a teenage dilemma. 

http://miawitch.blogspot.com/2011/09/callan-ryan-claude-mcauliffe-my.html

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lov2eh6enI1qeifydo1_500.gif

Gulping an Iced Coffee Saga: In the flesh but Still too distant

 Yes, as seen in these  photos taken @ the same angles he did come to us. I couldn’t help but release my ridiculous smile as he moved even closer just so he could reach that freaking plug. Though it took about 30 minutes of insane co-existence in a humidified lobby, all I remembered was trying not to look too obviously spying @ this mind-boggling creature.  That’s right in my eyes he is just a 

creature, like an animal who I just happen to be too addicted with. I gave him a name, let him enter my universe , let him cause me silly smiles but no he never seemed to strike me as a human. I once described him as a Greek God in a human form but that’s all he was, human in form, I never regarded him as an equal. Nope I never have visions of only inches of separation, just distant stolen glances coupled with hidden snapshots. Maybe I want it to stay just like that because I seem to have the hobby of watching the world and never to take part. It feels weird that even though I have spent 2 semesters of accidental and intentional  gazing I still couldn’t get enough of it( Juli baker on watermelon scent). Sometimes I wonder if its this creature I couldn’t get enough of or I just find my reaction amusing. I don’t feel this reaction often, I doubt if it’ll cease as time continues it’s clockwise movement. As this creature crosses our parallel dimension, every movement he initiates seems to dissolve the boundaries which I drawn to remind me of my limits but on second thought, its just in my head and we are still not equals.












                    

MARIA CLARA wasn’t born yesterday

On August 3 2011, MMK featured a love story that very much reminded me of FLIPPED. I just found an older and modern version of JULI BAKER in the character played by DENISE LAUREL. Have you witnessed someone with that much guts just so her object of affection would eventually reciprocate her feelings? Wait, I think I know tons of girls that behave just as she does.   


1 Gennie of started w/ a kiss

 2 Charlotte from H2o

3 Nam from Crazy lil things

4 Macy in Jonas

5 Jenny in Gossip girl

6 Caroline from Vamp diaries

7 Massie from the Clique

8 Brigitte in sisterhood of traveling pants

Though some of them didn’t have a happy ending and 

annoyed the hell out of me @ times. The effort is much appreciated. Sometimes I can almost picture myself doing those crazy but bold things, but as I re-open my eyes I always find myself sitting. If ever I did those things and stupidly just followed my heart, things in my life would have been a lot  different. Maybe I would have retired from my 17 single years earlier. I would have experienced being greeted by those 3 words 8 letters before I close my eyes I would have felt that current as another hand occupy the spaces between my fingers. I would have been called cheesy or corny or sappy. I would have felt that hole Bella keeps bragging about. I would have swore never to fall again just like Mika did. I would have been with Hanna Marin as she crashed sean’s car , the thing is I was a coward. But I believe that  even when there are 6 billion souls in this lifetime, the only one I needed would appear unexpectedly as soon as destiny decides we cant stay apart any longer. Ooooppps, maybe Maria Clara wAS just born…….

PLaIN DOmInATion

PLaIN DOmInATion
SEPtember 2,2011

I have no idea where they got this Crayola theme. Never understood why they picked it in the first place.

I never had any luck on raffle tickets. I wanted that external drive so bad!!!!

..As I stare @ these petrified photos dominated by fixed smiles, I could not think of       anything else but   constant blankness. Like nothing really happened but these are reminders that there was.

A Greek God in human form, my eyes see him as that. Although I’m pretty sure he is absolutely less than the sum of his parts. He turns heads, obviously, that’s why I consider this reaction as pure external. Determining whether he’s substantial or not is already out of the question because we subsist in different dimensions, parallel in nature and never bound to congregate.

Maybe the state of bliss is like a tiny slice of caramel cake. If you have already consumed that bit amount of sweetness and indulged yourself in that fluffy icing, it just ceases. As you swallow, a pang of guilt crashes into the skull but you have to shake it off, its done. Bliss always have expiration dates. But unlike in foods, it doesn’t take years for it to become toxic , sometimes you’re battling with seconds as
swift as blinking an eye.

Years and years back, I prided myself for being honest. I never cheated on exams or stole extra bucks from my mom, I even return excess change to cashiers . But now, I am more than a liar. I could see myself as a complete fraud. How could that be? If you’re a fraud even to yourself then how could you remove that seemingly permanent  natural mask?  When did I put it on? Am I going to be to be stuck in this masquerade ball for eternity?