Leaving A Trace By Alexandra Johnson

On July 27, 2011, around 8pm I have purchased a copy of Alexandra Johnson's Leaving A Trace.
I kept a proper journal since my Junior year in High school. But I didn't really created it to leave a mark or record the passage of time. I just have these whispers of my own voice in my own head but my own tongue cant quite recognize them when they had to publicized, I kept it to glue things when my Verbally Challenged self refuses to participate.  

Im still in page 37 "The well examined life" the smell of the pages enters my lungs it wants to stay there for eternity.  I love books, I used the word love because contrasting to my other obsessions Im sure it loves me back as well.

Flipped.

When I first watched Flipped, I flipped. This was out last year but this film made "its better to be late than never" a sensible quotation, spectacularly sensible that is..
 I want to see how dazzling Bryce Lowski's  eyes really are. I mean Julie got her head spinning when she sees them, they seem to drown hatred and cause you to become ballistic. Bryce's character is kind of bi-polar, he could be a jerk but then he becomes caring but paired with cowardliness. 
 Julie Baker , is way deeper than a stalking neighbor, "Held above the earth, brushed by the wind ? Who in Junior High talks like that?" . Listening to her mind-talk wanted me to see the world in her eyes, to seek substance rather than whats superficial. 
Chet's character was like the bridge to everything. 

The thing about this movie is that its like a journal, it talks, not you, it just does and what every character feels reflects in your mind and in your heart. 
Callan was Alex's friend in "I AM Number Four" , I didn't see Bryce Loski there. I dont see Alex' hotness but Callan's nerdiness

I have evolved to a stalker, i was reading his bio and clicking on his vids. When I found he's sixteen, I was like oh no!! two years younger!!! YOUNGER, that'll make me a cougar... He's Australian, he seemed funny in his interviews and mature enough to be considered more than just a 16- old guy with a really compelling accent.
Oh My.... Its been two weeks and Im still Flipped. How do I get over this crazy obsession on this Aussie actor. I wish they teach that one on school or warn you just before the movie starts up that you may not be the same again. I have just read a novel "Parker Grey Show" by Kristen Buckley and I feel how Parker feels for M. The whole " I have watched your face too long and I think I love him crap ( not the offensive type), and I thought If I loved him which I dont because he's superficial ( on screen), everybody does too. 
But he has SUBSTANCE!!! How could a guy like that exist and worse he is freaking sweet sixteen. Why weren't you born @ least 2 years earlier? I just started my years of growth and development in the external environment of my mom when you were just a product a fertilized ovum in the ampulla portion of the Fallopian tube. God must have a reason for this, as he has on everything. 

This week was midterms but that didn't stop me from abusing the movie maker. Its my first, inspired by Flipped, do I even have to say that?

Koizora ( Sky Of Love)

I have watched the most heartbreaking movie so far in my 17 years of consciousness. Being oblivious in the sphere of LOVE. I find the love between the two teens as impossible to exist. But the freshness and the exploration of the girl's first love is.... lets just say sweetness would be an understatement. @ such young age doing their first coitus wouldnt be considered immaturity or passionate, it displays the feeling like its not a mistake but not entirely right= it got me hanging in the mid-air of pleasure and need. i cant determine if its out of love. Hiros's character is dynamic. It could be split several times. First being a punk who knows nothing but trouble. Second is a mystery which kind of displayed inferiority. Third justifiable and unjustifiable angst ( sword and shield). Fourth sincerity, his reactions @ different situations are not expected at all. 


Mika's character showed plainness @ first (what characteristic did Hiro saw?) but on the latter part she showed a few waves of strong judgement between being a fool or ceasing to be a fool. But her acting in the end was not very touching, I just felt a sense of responsibility.


I was crying, it made me feel alive!!!!! 

fATE or Destiny

Is this really my destiny? People say that we use destiny as an excuse when failure jumps instead of victory. That we are destined to fail at first and then @ the right time we would reap success. But what if failure is the way destiny is telling you that " IT'S NOT THIS!" , "its something else, you just have to look beyond what you see or hope rather than welcoming the blows of fated failure. Does it even make sense? Destined to fail?

DNA replication, translation and transcription

I got half of it, but honestly its kind of hard to actually apply it in a brown folder.
But its kind of interesting, we are assigned to invent a human characteristic out of this assignment! Any detail! In the wildest of your imagination. Even the craziest stuff you could think of. But I havent yet started, the images of G, A, C, T and anti codons are rumbled in my brain!!!!!

Jerry Del Rosario

 Do you Know Him?

I know nothing about this man. Except his name and that he is my FATHER.  Im not even sure if im not holding into the wrong name, with a secretive mother you'll never know. Anyway, he was supposed to be Jerry Del ROsario. In my 17 years of breathing, I havent seen any physical evidence of his being . Well i'm not going to whine about how unfair it is that I grew up to be a shrinking violet because of his absence. I learned that in Psychology, that kids who does'nt have a paternal figure to look up to in their years of development will most likely become, let just say Zipped. 
The second question would be, would I want to meet him?
In gradeschool, nope, I didnt want pain, I have been bullied due to this and i didnt want to meet the person who made me experience becoming an outcast who have wasted gallons of salty tears everyday. In highschool, I think I wanted to , I wrote any essay about him. Titled " ANG NAWAWALANG BALAHIBO" ( MISSING FEATHER). It was an emotional one, the first public representation of my grief. It tells about how a bird couldnt fly because she isnt complete. ( I know , HS was full of drama, but it was fun).


Now? Maybe? Not?
Im not sure. the thing is I just whisper to myself that GOD has plans, and I being his creation doesnt have the right to question. There are just moments when I wonder if I have met him in the streets or sat with him in a bus, that if only I paid attention to people I would have known it was him. That's one thing I dont do, stare at random people: I exist in this world unnoticed, why should I stare at people who dont even know JM.
Is this a "Wanted dead or alive?". half actually,  there could be someone who breathes around him that could read this.  Its just another blog post by JM, with mixed intentions...
JulY 30
I was determined to cease from wondering about JERRy when I found this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZtQ4-dJut8&feature=related

It All ENDs...

June 16, 2011
It All Ends

Its surprising how three little words could bring you depression. I feel deprived of a possession that has long been mine but the circumstance is, it was never really mine. The whole world thought they owned it but JK Rowling is only the real proprietor. I knew how the ending would go, but I’m glad of the alterations because it gave me something to look forward to. Cinema 3 Robinsons Ilocos Norte, I have witnessed the conclusion to the much awaited film of the whole generation. Anybody who considered magic are for kids only needs to swallow the words because Harry Potter proved that no number, no age has the capacity to resist the imperius curse the wizarding  world has cast upon us. I have rejoiced in his triumphs and sympathized in his sufferings, he has been part of me. I feel like I am also a horcrux, that a bit of HP’s soul has been living inside of me and now I have been stabbed by a basilisk fang or slit by Gryffindor’s sword. But the only difference is that the horcrux in me left something to remind me of its existence. As stated by Neville Longbottom, everyday someone dies or in this case, ends. This is just one thing, someone leaving isn't a sinister scenario but in the end they would still be here, in your heart.

Gulping an iced- coffee in a plastic cup 
I had a HOTTIE overload Today..
Not that we had direct communication or anything just the giggling @ a distance sort which im the master of. I technically had lunch with him in the same place, if you disregard the tables and spaces anyway…..
I’ve never been obsessed with anyone like this before. I think that’s the problem, I am obsessed. Im technically blind In all the realistic possibilities that my eyes could not notice what could be really happening cms away in front of me because im too focused on what I see in him and how I feel about it. It doesn’t have a two way passage, it’s a dead end with no light ahead. And the only way that I could ever save myself is if I turn back and snap out of my insanity. Which I think wouldn’t be necessary due to my lack of direction and my ignorance with inter-social charm and physicality of the obvious which is my doomed imperfection.
To sum it all up, I don’t want to saved.

His vespa beside my vespa. I swear it happened! I was trembling>>>>>>>>>

When you fail to say a single word, what comes next? what becomes of you? What if your voice could no longer touch sound? When the world becomes your audience but, the star, you, remains frozen with nothing but dramatic drumroll beating of the heart to claim the prize that symbolizes your horror?.

Just another, melodramatic outbreak from the world's unknown shrinking violet......

This is a journal not a diary. ( you might have heard it from greg heffley) 

 I have been writing long before I knew how to click the "like" button. 
This has been in my possession for the past three years. It comforted me in my solitary moments.
It wiped my tears when i had my first major adolescence heart break.
It taught me to just stay still even when the solid ground i'm rooted into comes in random and painful, constant motion.

It made me sing " I gotta find you" when I still had my crush on Joe Jonas. 
And now its singing to me "How you make me feel' by Hey Monday.

It fills my life with colors that I never knew existed.
When nothing seems to matter, it shows itself. 

This is the back cover, it is composed of mere pictures of what seems to occupy my heart. 

As the hands of time keeps moving in scripted motion, as stated by my Philosophy professor, it continues to age and images would remain to cover what seems to be there forever. 

good am

Ever woke up one morning with nothing to look forward to but series of melancholic moments and the poetic pacing of life?

HP countdown!!!

My nieces were watching Harry potter and the sorcerers stone last friday, and instantly no matter how many times i've re-watched this , I was just glued to the couch (Slughorn?)

This July , the world is gonna witness the end of a legacy. A legacy that lived in one great writer's head and worked its way into respective places in our heart and soul.

Harry , ron and hermione has been part of my elementary days that comforted me from bullies (draco), to high school that flickers fire and smile ( Yuletide ball) and now in my second year in collage that got me through nights of studying (O.W.L.S).

However will I continue now? My first HOLLYWOOD crush would no longer wander @ nights in my dreams?

But even if Volde.... I mean YOU-Know-Who gets to be the seller of tickets, I would welcome his AvedaKedavra just so I could witness the chosen one's happy ending. With sacrifices, but still, happy.