A Person cannot write anything outside her experience. That places me in the worst position ever because I have not experienced anything. Not a pinch of excitement has flowed in my veins. I have been living for the sake of living, not for any substantial cause. I haven’t even made my own decisions, not because my rents are ruling over me but because I am always shadowed by fear. I can only speak of the things I know of and the one thing I think that I am sure of is myself. I, who lacks compassion and dedication. I who passes up every opportunity beyond what I could consider rational.
“ I need another story, something to get off my chest My life is kinda boring, its something that’ I cant confess. “ by ONE REBUBLIC
But I’m confessing it now, I could only write or tell about my miseries, my what if’s. Maybe this isn’t my story or maybe I don’t even have a story. I’m only a minor character , a flat one that requires minimal action that I was am just here to fill an empty space in a moment of some one else’s life. Maybe I’m just stranded at one moment waiting to be called out to fill another space into another moment. Someone’s moment because it’s what I was born for. Maybe at the beginning of my life I was just too passive, passive enough that I could not even be heard nor seen. Maybe a failed to qualify as a major character and the world or whoever it is has decided to kick me out and made me like this because I was born as I am. A good character possesses plausibility, sympathy, motivation, vitality and is consistent. I am neither of the lot. So what am I here for? Just to witness numerous scenes? Sometimes I whisper to myself to try to be part of the landscape. That the antidote for my flatness is just to be active enough to be noticed. But I’m not that person, I cant even try even if I wanted to. I am chained and will always be. That’s my story. It’s static, it doesn’t even have a plot to begin with therefore, the short story that possesses a single plot is ruled out thus, there is no I am, only : I am not. Maybe I just looking for an adventure to cease my dullest of dullness. Like Tolkien who cannot find someone to share it with. If only I am one of his characters, if only I am fiction and not half-real.
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I asked the whole-do-you-think-you-are-a-major-character-in-your-story-or-just-a-minor-one to the class’ top student. She said she’s a major one and joked that we are just minor ones in her life. She said that maybe we are all major characters but in other people’s life we are minor. Like we are all connected to each other’s life. She said that we are both minor and major.
Then I asked her that major characters are round and minor ones are flat, can a person be both flat and round at the same time?
She said, those are just in the context of a short story and our life is a novel.
I said nothing. She was being technical and I was being dramatic.
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