So this new Chapter isn’t part of the plan.

 I woke up later than usual. it’s 10 A.M and I’m still curling in my bed like a sick girl in a hospital bed. Lifeless, tired of the world’s endless spinning. Another chapter in my life is bound to be repeated yet again. The chapter that requires me to live in solitude and remain contained In that depressing corner that sucks the pieces of my life away as if I’ve been kissed by a damned dementor with no chocolate to suffice my loss. I am tired of moving every time someone else have to. That’s why I stayed away from people so that I could stabilize my shaken ground. But that phase of my life is done and I do not want to take that trip to memory lane again. All I wanted was to stay put live life the way it is normally done. But I think nothing in life is ever normal. I’m not talking just about my life but in others as well. But I choose to focus on mine anyway. I knew this was going to happen sooner or later but I guess it’s really not something you get to prepare for. How is life supposed to be lived anyway? If there’s any ’’Life for dummies’’ book out there I’m sure as hell I haven’t heard of it. Oh, I’m aware of the bible, the rights of man but those doesn’t strike any interest. I need a person in my life in a completely platonic way, someone to make decisions, to do things I refuse to do. Someone to take charge temporarily when I can’t steer myself anymore. I guessed I have always longed for one, and it’s just now that I finally came to admit it. I have wished that I lived differently, learned to be contented and wanted things differently. Life itself is unstable, I wished differently but destiny has always declared it’s war on me.