I Am In Need Of Another Story

A Person cannot write anything outside her experience. That places me in the worst position ever because I have not experienced anything. Not a pinch of excitement has flowed in my veins. I have been living for the sake of living, not for any substantial cause. I haven’t even made my own decisions, not because my rents are ruling over me but because I am always shadowed by fear. I can only speak of the things I know of and the one thing I think that I am sure of is myself. I, who lacks compassion and dedication. I who passes up every opportunity beyond what I could consider rational. 

“ I need another story, something to get off my chest My life is kinda boring, its something that’ I cant confess. “ by ONE REBUBLIC

But I’m confessing it now, I could only write or tell about my miseries,  my what if’s. Maybe this isn’t my story or maybe I don’t even have a story. I’m only a minor character , a flat one that requires minimal action that I was am just here to fill an empty space in a moment of some one else’s life. Maybe I’m just stranded at one moment waiting to be called out to fill another space into another moment. Someone’s moment because it’s what I was born for. Maybe at the beginning of my life I was just too passive, passive enough that I could not even be heard nor seen. Maybe a failed to qualify as a major character and the world or whoever it is has decided to kick me out and made me like this because I was born as I am. A good character possesses plausibility, sympathy, motivation, vitality and is consistent. I am neither of the lot. So what am I here for? Just to witness numerous scenes? Sometimes I whisper to myself to try to be part of the landscape. That the antidote for my flatness is just to be active enough to be noticed. But I’m not that person, I cant even try even if I wanted to. I am chained and will always be. That’s my story.  It’s static, it doesn’t even have a plot to begin with therefore, the short story that possesses a single plot is ruled out thus, there is no I am, only : I am not. Maybe I just looking for an adventure to cease my dullest of dullness. Like Tolkien who cannot find someone to share it with.  If only I am one of his characters, if only I am fiction and not half-real.

MortAl Instruments : City of Bones

Dammit! I'm a Mundane!!!!!

In the wizarding world of Harry Potter, I am regarded only as a muggle (although I have this gut feeling that I could be a mud blood), a mere non- magic human. In the LJ Smith’s night world, I could only aspire to be part of a circle. In Cassandra Clare’s I am no less than a mundie, could there be any other word that could accurately define me?
I’m not the type that follows the trend as if it is a necessity. The side lines is where my kingdom is, and most of the time I am it’s only inhabitant. So being completely taken over by NEPHILINS or SHADOW HUNTERS to me is like wearing peep toe pumps just to fake my 5’1 height.  Angels , half , fallen , hunters are the newest trend In fantasy books right now and im just the same old me who gets too easily hooked because suddenly being able to breathe isn’t a matter of life and death anymore, it’s this superficial world where I see myself in the eye of the heroine.
The series centers in the life of CLARY FRAY AND JACE WAYLAND.
CLARY : short, redhead, bad temper.

She is a red headed girl from BROOKLYN, living life as mundane only to find out that her true home is In IDRIS, a place for shadow hunters who live by the oath of the Angel. 

JACE: “Jace likes to pretend that everyone isn’t talking about him, even when he knows they are.”
       

Here’s the stich; he’s arrogant yet charming. He acts like he’s in love with himself but when he realized clary can see him ( with glamour) , he began acting like nothing is at risk when it comes to her.

So this new Chapter isn’t part of the plan.

 I woke up later than usual. it’s 10 A.M and I’m still curling in my bed like a sick girl in a hospital bed. Lifeless, tired of the world’s endless spinning. Another chapter in my life is bound to be repeated yet again. The chapter that requires me to live in solitude and remain contained In that depressing corner that sucks the pieces of my life away as if I’ve been kissed by a damned dementor with no chocolate to suffice my loss. I am tired of moving every time someone else have to. That’s why I stayed away from people so that I could stabilize my shaken ground. But that phase of my life is done and I do not want to take that trip to memory lane again. All I wanted was to stay put live life the way it is normally done. But I think nothing in life is ever normal. I’m not talking just about my life but in others as well. But I choose to focus on mine anyway. I knew this was going to happen sooner or later but I guess it’s really not something you get to prepare for. How is life supposed to be lived anyway? If there’s any ’’Life for dummies’’ book out there I’m sure as hell I haven’t heard of it. Oh, I’m aware of the bible, the rights of man but those doesn’t strike any interest. I need a person in my life in a completely platonic way, someone to make decisions, to do things I refuse to do. Someone to take charge temporarily when I can’t steer myself anymore. I guessed I have always longed for one, and it’s just now that I finally came to admit it. I have wished that I lived differently, learned to be contented and wanted things differently. Life itself is unstable, I wished differently but destiny has always declared it’s war on me.

I suck @ first time... sss

SUCK SEED

I’m not really a big fan of THAI movies although I enjoyed watching CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE ( I still don’t agree on the movie title), BANGKOK TRAFFIC LOVE STORY and screamed out my lungs in COMING SOON. So the newest so far is SUCKSEED, which is actually the name of the band consisting of this three crazy guys.
The setting is high school but it’s elementary roots was also showed in the movie. The movie was fun to watch. It had light romance, comedy and at the end it became a tear jerker ( I did cry a bit).

Well I’m glad I watched this because if I didn’t I wouldn’t know him :      PEACH

I googled him alright and guess what?
He’s 19. Born in 1993 , so hooray for me. He’s role was kind of annoying , he had a twin brother who was a guitarist in a band called ARENA and that’s when I decided that "damn this guy is hot””.
I know that a guy from movies catching my attention , googling about him, downloading numerous pix is already a cliché thing for me to do but it’s what occupies my time so I’m gonna continue doing my pattern until the world runs out of attention-worthy dudes. . I think he has an upcoming movie titled the BILLIONAIRE, I want to watch it, not just because he’s in it ( he’s just an added bonus, a very satisfying bonus anyway) but also because I think it can inspire me to struggle more In life. We, humans have different struggles in life, some lives each day at a time, some wants to live another day, some are consumed by vengeance and some live to observe and pity themselves for not having the life they think they deserve. I wish I can struggle more, I wish I can feel pain more, I wish I can see things in a completely complex manner. I want my eyes to be open. To strive till my soul lives my body. I know that it’s utterly insane to wish for something not good to happen to you but the bad things I think is part of life. That It can't be called life if at least once you didn’t feel like you wanted death to collect you and decay you to dust.

A different Kind of DRUNK

A different kind of drunk

Photo: found in google
: Belongs to rightful owner.

- I’ve never been drenched in alcohol for it drown my cognizance. And I’m pretty sure that I’m 18 years sober. I have to thank (  coffea arabica ) for that. I cant remember exactly when did coffee became a usual substance in my system, but I think I got it from a cousin of mine , and altogether we explore the different flavors of which our parent’s pockets can afford. I’m not a city dweller, I live in a small town which offers hardly any variety of coffee that I’m sure would certainly make me more stimulated in my day-to-day mundane existence. Coffee completes my owl hours, a perfect evening for me is a hard bound fiction, a bar of chocolate and a rich cup of coffee. It serves as my companion in test reviews, movie marathons, TV dramas or even in an afternoon when I decide to freeze and watch the world revolve without me. I can smell it in my urine and I experience withdrawal headaches when I fail to sip some in a day. 

Not quite but almost

Picture downloaded from gOOgle
Photo belongs to rightful owner. 

As she started her unending muttering of her self-perception of greatness, I have been left of no choice but to yield and emerge as the inferior one. Struggling to stay alert and interested was the challenge I had to triumph over. I was never like this before, or maybe secretly I was. But gradually, her insufferable self-importance has out balanced the years that I considered her as a companion to walk beside with in the curves of life. Envy? Not quite but almost. I have always known that I am not really the person people assumed me to be but my surfacing new attributes somehow frightens and disgusts me.