Numbers are but figments so they cannot by in any means be used to etch a border but they do anyway so here it is my trifling lucidity waning to a prodigious incoherency.

Unless it kills you, unless you intend to terminate your mortality, do not converse to three-year olds.

They are nut jobs waiting to be trashed into a nut house.

 

Byuntae for Byun Baekhyun

The Great Gatsby

"He had come such a long way and his dreams must have seem so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it but he did not know that it was already behind him. Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter—to-morrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther. . . . And one fine morning——

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” 

 Truth be told, i wasn't expecting much from this movie. I knew it was going to sell well,  I mean Leo? Tobey? Carrey?  Isla? Long Island? extravagant production and a matching classic book to match. Not to mention CALLAN MCAULIFFE was there in like ten freaking minutes. I just didnt expect it to appeal to me to the extent of making me want to purchase a paper back copy at the spur of the moment. This movie shall scar my soul for it crafted without any effort a commotion in my own boundless universe because honestly, that is all I have , through that motion my infinity stretches. 

 Nick Carraway, a Yale graduate moves next door to a mysteriously filthy rich Jay Gatsby in Long Island. Deep down Nick always had the intuition that he was being watched by the billionaire until one night he received an invitation into one of the profligate parties his neighbor holds.  Before he knew it , he had become the keeper of secrets of the inhabitants of Long Island.

I really hated Daisy in here for leaving everything that she smashes and being easily influenced by her philandering husband. As for Gatsby, despite being a bootlegger, i could say i really pitied the way his life tragically ended. He waited for daisy for five years, he reached out for that green light every night. He built his right across hers, if you don't consider that quixotic i don't know what it is.  Nick Carraway pushed me in this ditch when he looked out from that flat's window in New York, when he became enchanted with the inexhaustible variety of life. 

“He smiled understandingly-much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced--or seemed to face--the whole eternal world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey.” 

― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby 

Lips like caterpillar.

 

There's nothing about Baekyeol shipping in here, except for the gif above. Ignore their derpness, if you may. Ignore the fact that the title of this post pertains to that cheeky devil Kai

This is about an AFF fic titled Sinned by Primrosing.

"You're in deep shit", tell me that Oh Sehun.

Let me rant about how that fic is the origin of my exhilaration right now.

How could she turn this baby-faced flower boy to a man-whore pedophile next door neighbor? 

Each chapter is literally rubbing itself against my crotch crafting a colossal fetish.

  

...Miawitch

...Me-out

  

cATMwoHsUMSLotHWheelyEWbiATch

I am, with full intention, ignoring the rules of capitalization because if Margo taught me one thing, its head on unfair for the rest of the letters. All hail Rostad for her effort in reinforcing the fading and snoring loathe in my chest, i shall live with this new found awareness until it sweats out  from my flesh, until i hear your faint whisper in the crook of my neck, until words abandon you with the exemption of my name. Until you bleed into submission. Cry, moan for it, i never cared for your sake in the first place, there is no place for such in my center. I've been dragging not only this but everything else in my messed up life, no surprise there, you just met the biggest slacker, the master of procrastination truth be told. If i could desist from thinking, if talking is parallel to my thinking I wouldn't be stuck in an inferno of doubts. I have accustomed my self in expecting the worst case scenario so i'm afraid that this is nothing but a tattered cliche. And I never learn. Not when the wind embraces me, not when fire licks,  not when water inundates me, I am left futile.
 ---------------------------------

Spare me from this madness.

(random exo gif)
Stuff you giant!!!!

EXO

Alice fell into the rabbit's hole.

Rapunzel was stuck in a tower to comb her golden hair.

Aurora was bound to a century of slumber.

Ariel longed to walk but she was squeezed in a slimy tail instead.

Snow was given a second life but she was tempted by a mere apple.

I took all precautions necessary.

I considered them identical gays.

I turned a blind eye to their swarming videos.

I failed.

Immensely.

 EXO - K

 

 EXO - M

Twelve guys. I cannot believe i memorized their names in one week's time. I don't need another SHINee or Big Bang in my life. I don't want to read exo fanfics to further corrupt my already corrupted mind, i want to say good bye to the endless shippings , yaois , OTPs and such. It's their song Growl that triggered it, then the drama version of wolf came, I have lost it. 

Maybe it's not today, nor tomorrow nor in the near future but I will, one day, be able to escape from the rabbit's hole.

Drama version of WOLF :  

Ichigosama

She is 18.

She is a Filipina.

She is Minho-obsessed.

Delusional perhaps.

  

Her fluffs command butterflies to flutter in my stomach.

Her cracks acidify my gut.

Her horror fics petrify my soul.

Her angst punches my heart to the point of  failure.

And her smut.

How can i even begin with that. 

She is golden.

She's one of the main reasons why i joined AFF and I just can't bear the fact that she's leaving. 

For good, as she says. 

She's growing older and the things that used to excite her cannot suffice to quench her thirst any longer. 

She's tied, I get that perhaps I just envy the fact that she's breaking loose.

But why does it have to end this way? 

Can't you grow old and not change? 

Do you really have to lose yourself to find it again?  

It's just so sad and frustrating. 

Sympathy to her mere silhouette, who would have thought?

Her reality caught her off guard, so childhood is nothing but an ignorant dream.

It's just so difficult to accept.

Difficult to accept the fact that i cant accept it.  

Kudos to you, Ichigosama.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

New bias from EXO :
Tao
20
Wushu
Het.... (i know)
Undergone surgery because hello! no one can look that perfect.  
This phase will be over sooner or later. 
My shallowness shall fade with time. 

(unrelated TAO gif. TAO. panda)  

Exo : Growl 

.............
..........
...........
........

Happy Two Decades of Life Lee Tae Min (in international years anyway!)

  

Yah! Mushroom head! 

Happy Birthday!!! 

 

 From the craziest Tae-mints

I'll think about it first, neh?

                                                                                                                

Okay I'll go now Taeminnie! 

     
  I still have cancer to study!

But I'll be reading this FANFIC first because the chapter that I've been waiting for is finally up!
(it has a tiny bit of 2min of course) 

Aberrant

The roof began to play a rhythmic beat; your heart swells , it was a song you have always heard yet somehow it's melancholic touch never seem to get old to you. Your neck jerked peripherally and you were magnetized out of your consciousness. Through the window you saw the world dancing, the gray sky knelt down to touch the earth as it cried a river; it was agony but it was exquisite. Tears fell from the sky to shower the dry crust , you stretched out your hand to catch a droplet and it blurred the pattern of life engraved in your palms. You sighed, your nose turned red, a lump on your throat surfaced and your eyes glittered. You thwarted away from blinking  because those liquefied diamonds would shatter. Gravity, you allowed it to do its sole job and finally you waved the white flag.  It was inky and you were ready to shut the world from your sight, sluggishly you did and you met an abyss. You inhaled the scent of nature. You missed the warmth, you longed for that fire, you wanted it enough that you cease to care if it scorches away your skin. You wanted those arms to take hold of you, for it to tie ropes to your limbs and allow it to manipulate you. You've been running too long, too fast to notice that half of your short life has already passed. It was just a damned deja vu.



(AFF experiment) 



 ( another unrelated Minnie gif )
  Source : a fellow taemint : Primrose0930

Epiphany

We are solitary dots in a crumpled paper waiting for a pen to connect us, to turn us into a single line once more.

I'm blind, a mute , a deaf and a cripple.

 A lie.

________________________________________________________________________

They greeted her with warm smiles.

Laughters couldnt stop from rolling.

An infinity of words approached them.

The past became their mutual friend but the future remained as her constant enemy.

Suddenly I'm out for blood, literally.

I just finished my first OC fanfic titled Fanboy. I'm currently editing a one-shot OTP of 2min which is called Night Time ( it's giving me a hell of a head ache since I'm trying to add smut into it. It's freaking hard! but for the love of 2min I shall try till I experience that required feeling(wink-wink *_* ). I just made an uncooked draft of another OC fanfic. It is titled Heart Problems where you can be Lee Shinye. 

  Excitement has suddenly tingled my spine. I know that I'm new to this and my works are synonymous to a stain in a wedding gown  but I just feel this internal fulfillment (if you know what I mean). I think real happiness is innate and it doesn't need to be show cased. After all, you can fake being happy for others , but not to yourself. If you can, well..... good for you.

Heart Problems : OC Multishot

 

Links to : (by yours truly)

Fanboy

Night Time

Heart Problems

Prevention 

I couldnt stop reading these fan fics like seriously when did everyone seemed to have develop their mad writing skills. I am turning to a green monster once again but this time it's challenge to definitely win. It's beginning to be an unhealthy habit. But who cares!

Here are my top favorites:

Strawberry Jam 

Nalgae

Trouble

Follow the Leader

Fact or Fiction

  

Fanboy

I just finished  my first (hopefully not last )  chaptered OC fanfic on AFF. 

Here's the link : Fanboy 

Chopstick, Ddeokbokki and Fangirlgasm

I haven’t gotten over my SHINee fetish yet so here I am trying a Korean dish to experience a fragment of their world-renowned

existence.

I didn’t have a clue on what to order so I asked for suggestions and a plate of spicy hot ddeokbokki was served before us. I should have undertaken this journey solo but I figured that sitting alone in a foreign restaurant didn’t seem half as fun as I presume it would be so I dragged someone along. And I’m glad that I did.

Tteokbokki, also known as ddeokbokki, topokki or dukboki, is a popular Korean snack food which is commonly purchased from street vendors or pojangmacha. Originally it was called tteok jjim (떡찜), and was a braised dish of sliced rice cake, meat, eggs, and seasoning.

It’s too spicy for my own good but I’ve grown to like things that I hate. I’m not sure what the side dish is called but I think it’s Kimchi. What is up with Korean cuisine? They pile you with hot foods until you can no longer stand them.

That place also had I wall where you can write thoughts on your bias K-Pop groups and I knew I just had to pour my fan girl feelings out.

Sorry for my shallowness, it happens sometimes. Gotta unleash this monster before it starts to eat its own body.

Stranger's Flavor

Stranger’s Flavor

A person with a young heart yearns to discover way beyond his world. As he grows old, he becomes weary and settles for peace.
It all started with a bum. Breathing the same air as them seemed like a depressant to me. It is, by the way but acceptance is a mantra to try.
The hardest part of crying is trying to hold it all in. Putting on a brave face and faking a pathetic smile. Focusing on your external environment to avoid this internal breakdown from leaking out in the open.
Keeping your eyes and ears open were supposed to let the world expose it self to you but ironically according to John Green, it’s the other way around.
Words need to flow continuously, repetition is inevitable but if  you give damn it shouldn’t be that hard.
It’s that flower boy next door. He taught her  that if you don’t know the world, you can’t write a fairytale.
Your eyes are like black holes that keep drawing me in.

Alternate Universe

It came in a moment of terror.

Violated perfection.

Innocence scraped off.

Stolen purity.

Damaged soul.

Bruised identity.

Lifeless yet alive.

Waiting to be claimed.

The room is swelling, sweats dripping out of my pores as these four walls try to crush me.
At one moment I forgot to breathe, i forgot that I existed and once again i begin to drift into an overwhelming pool of euphoria.

What is real and what is not is yet to be revealed. It can continue to be hidden until forgotten, until ignored, until humanity ceases to care. Its mystery is beauty. Its mystery is suffering. Its mystery is life. It's far from sacred, hatred, exactly. Hell yes. The forbidden heightens lust , greed becomes inevitable, greed becomes a sinful norm.  Its a fantasy waiting to be stretched until life kisses it, until life abuses it, until life eats it. It starts with sweet hushed whispers, chocolate coated words then turns into bitter unbearable whimpers, moans, screams. Unbearable it may be but indulging indeed. Its not something someone could openly share because it's tainted by hunger, driven by desire. I literally want to eat like a predator savages it's prey, i just can't stop wanting, enough is clearly not enough. I'm an insatiable beast and the worst thing is, I don't want this to cease. I couldnt care less if it would destroy me, I just need it period.

(Random 2min)

source: satans-tentacles

Mates, Date and Chocolate Cheats by Cathy Hopkins

"Oh, I'm so ugly", wailed Nesta.

"And I'm uglier", TJ joined in.

"And I'm the ugliest of all", cried Lucy.

Fun, as light as iced tea. I wasn't completely blown though, not blown at all.  

Kissing Death

She wanted to die. I've always known that she is the weakest link of the four but never did I expect her to give up fighting. I never really envisioned her life before, it's like she just popped out when we needed her. She's gentle and kind. She drowns her hang ups by swimming in liquor. I did not like it but it grew on me, just like everything does. She's not a skilled warrior, she'd probably wound herself before her enemies do but ending her life with her own sword? Do i even know her? The only logical explanation is that she's good at hiding and I must be good at ignoring. I never would have known if it wasn't blurted out into my face. I asked, of course using denial as her shield, I should have known better. I should have known. Doesn't change a thing though, its not something i could sniff my way into. It's sleeping in the past, its having an awful nightmare. But still, being a human with an open mind is a struggle for me. It's hard for me to accept this. Whatever this is. 

(random minnie gif) 

SHINee : Dream Girl

SHINee

Korean dramas and K-movies have always been my weakness. I just can’t seem to find a counter-curse to the spell they cast in me. But K Pop? A big "Aniyo", I just find it too gay, too flamboyant, too histrionic. 

As you know, I love to eat words. Most especially mine. It’s my favorite dish. My Achilles heel. The chink in my armor.  

 Words make me vulnerable. 

Give it up for SHINee :

Leader ONEW

 Bling bling Jonghyun

 The Almighty KEY

 Flaming Charisma MINHO

 Maknae Taemin

My bias is Minho, i just can't get over his manliness. Key and Taemin are my second. Onew' s voice for me is the best. I don't like Jonghyun that much ( but I admire his powerful voice and i like JongKey). I'm a SHAWOL.

Something to read :

The Taste of an Iris

Something to watch:

Hello baby : SHINee appa

Co - shawol :
KOreana 
   
Hello Parody 

Must watch Replay Parody (LMAO)

K Pop Problem  

Never underestimate KPOPers 
This short vacation revolved around fangirling. Korean girls ship the members to each other. I found it odd. But i think shipping a bias to another bias is better than having your bias date a non-member. It's called Korean skin-ship after all, a fan service ( disturbing at first but I'm a 2 min shipper). Or maybe its just another word for bromance. 
I can't believe that i'm shipping 2 Min, they're making me a pervert. I want to make a fanfic about 2 min and OnHo!

 

Jonghyun and Taemin fanservice.. 
(Taeminnie turned into a Taeman)
What do you think of Korean Skinship? Is Fanservice going too far? (Don't do that again taemin! Minho Oppa is watching :( .....)

 

Taemin .......is slowly becoming my bias (sorry Minho, i think I got it bad for this maknae who is becoming a TaeMAN. )

Photos and gifs not owned. 
Credits to the owners.